Above the superficial

2010-07-30T19:56:00.003+08:00

i feel so stupid. so fucking, retardedly stupid. k, retardedly isn't even a word. but ahhh heck, who cares. i will never, EVER compromise my beliefs for a guy ever again. whatsmore this guy already has a gf, and they've been together for what, 2 years or something? and i've just known him for 1 week.

i went for a christian cell group. a freaking cell group. my other friend has practically died trying to pull me to church, and here i am voluntarily going to some church gathering because i wana see some guy with a girlfriend. i feel so disgusted with myself, i feel like a rape victim. i want to sit in the shower and scrub myself so hard that i bleed. i feel so tainted and dirty. i hate that i have violated my deepest and most important personal beliefs. i now know what it feels like to betray yourself, and that hurts so much more than anyone can ever, EVER hurt you.

in my sane moments i've said that no matter how much i like a guy or how hot/cute he is, i would never convert to whatever religion he is. no matter how much it hurts. and now that i've taken a step back to see for myself, i am even more convinced that i have made the right choice.

after tonight, it has further cemented my belief that Christianity is not for me. i mean, i really like some people there, because i can feel that they are genuinely kind and good people. but i just can't bring myself to subscribe to the same mindset. i hate it when these people put god before anything else. just because the church comes up with some activity, they have to drop everything and just do it? all the prior engagements that they have committed themselves to has just been shot to hell???!! i can't agree with that. i hate that they have to belittle themselves and give the supposed god so much credit. why must everything belong to god? given to you by god? why can't everything u work for be yours? bcos u have worked so hard to achieve it and thus you reap what you sow? ARGGHHH!!!! like i said, 2 different mindsets. i should not attempt to try to understand how they think. we disagree to agree.

duno why but i just feel so agitated, so pissed, so annoyed. i feel like punching something. looks like im not going to worship jesus anytime in the near future.

i want to curl up in bed and have a good cry.

2010-07-14T09:12:00.001+08:00

he texted me and i couldn't stop smiling. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!

2010-07-11T18:28:00.001+08:00

he hasn't contacted me for a week. i don't know how i feel about that. i'm pretty sure my feelings for him are pretty much over, but i can't help but check my phone ever so often to see if there is a text, or if there is if it is from him. what's up with that? i really wish there were some simple, clear cut answers to my feelings.

damn it. i wish i knew how to express myself better.

i should really go do my umat now. after all, grades are much more dependable than guys.

2010-07-02T19:48:00.002+08:00

i really like how our friendship has just blossomed on it's own to become ours. 3 months ago, i could never be alone with him and the awkward silences would have been unbearable. now, we're doing things i never thought we would do together. texting and just hanging out...... they're not big deals but somehow, it would be really hard to do these things if that person wasn't a good friend to you. our relationship is no longer pivoting and depending on a third party anymore. it belongs to us. :)

and for that, i'm happy :D

2010-05-29T22:42:00.002+08:00

i really want to remember this night forever. not that it meant anything, but...... it just was much better than i ever expected.

m asked me whether if i was keen on watching a movie cos he had 2 free tickets, so we ended up watching robin hood. the movie was scheduled at 9pm, and by 8.30pm he still hadn't contacted me. i was wondering if the thing was still on, and i was scared to msg him cos i was scared of the answer. i was scared that if he said he forgot or he was with someone else, i wouldn't be able to take the pain. i felt like one of those girls in the movies, where they go through all the effort to dress up and look pretty, only to find out the object of their affections were out with some other girl or something. which pretty much sucks as really. but by 8.30pm i was pretty anxious, and he hadn't contacted me the whole day, so i did msg him and he said yes, it was still on. then he picked me up, late, in typical m fashion, and it was already 9.03pm and we were still on the road to the cinema. and then we spent the next 10 minutes or so driving round the place looking for a parking space. oh. the movie was scheduled to start at 9pm btw. :P when we finally got into the cinema it was already like 9.15pm, and the movie just started.

it ended about 11.20pm, and we decided to go for drinks. non-alcoholic, of course, bcos i don't drink and he had to drive. so after driving about for 10 mins or so, we ended up right back where we started, at a cafe beside the cinema. it's pretty annoying that very little eateries are open on saturday night. even the cafe we went to closed at midnight, and we went in at 11.40pm. the kitchen was closed but thankfully they still served drinks. we both had ice chocolates, which was good but oh-so-sinful, and then we went back to his place cos i needed to borrow his calculator. our uni has this stupid policy that they only allow 3 calculator models, so i couldn't use mine. i didn't want to waste $16, so i'll just go back in june and borrow sis'. and exams are next week.....so yea....

but it was good thing he didn't bring his calculator, cos it gave me an excuse to see his place that i'd been dying to see for a while. it was.......messy. haha! maybe cos he has a lot of stuff and his room is really pretty small. but before we went in, he had this special kind of skateboard in the boot of his car, so since he lived next to the railway station we took advantage of the flat ground and he showed me how he did it. 'twas pretty fun. :) then we finally went up to his room and he turned on the tv and they were showing 'rumour has it'. and in one scene it showed jennifer aniston just suddenly kissing a guy on the cheek, and i was wondering what would happen if i did it to him. but of course i didn't bcos if i did it would irrevocably ruin our friendship, and i wouldn't have a ride back to my place. we hung out, he showed me his medical textbooks, showed me some family photos on facebook, and i just randomly volunteered some information about my family too.

he usually sleeps early, and it was already way past midnight. he said he was tired and of course i didn't want to overstay my welcome, which i probably already had. he fetched me back and i liked the fact that he didn't drive off immediately, and i could still turn around and wave goodbye to him. of course he didn't wait until i was in the house cos i'm not his gf or anything, but at least till i got my keys out? i got to my room and i checked the time: 2.12am. :)

my conclusion is that i still don't know a lot about him, and that he surprised me by liking stuff that i didn't expect. he likes clubbing, but doesn't really go cos he said he's not a really good dancer. :P and i'm really, really sad and heartbroken that he will be going back to christchurch in 2012. cos he has a choice to stay in dunedin, christchurch or auckland for his clinical years, and he has his own family and house in christchurch so there's no reason for him to stay in dunedin where he has to pay rent. and come to think of it, it's only 1.5 years away! :((((( just the thought of it makes me wana cry. :( sigh!

but even though he has made it quite clear that he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, i'm actually grateful for this bout of feelings, and what it has taught me. he's the first guy that sends me home after taking me out though i'm just a normal friend to him, he's the FIRST GUY EVER that u put on makeup for when i go out with him. (k, just foundation to cover up my flaws, but omg i discovered this amazing foundation. Photoready makeup by Revlon. i love it, it's awesome.)and he's the first guy that made me think that i would be really proud to bring him home to meet my family if he was my bf. i can already imagine my parents telling me that i have chosen well. unfortunately, it's not going to be him in this lifetime, but he certainly has set the bar really high, and all the other unfortunate candidates would definitely be measured against him as the benchmark. :P it definitely stings a bit, but i think tonight i really have been able to better put things into perspective, where i have learnt to accept what i'm feeling, and that it's ok to feel this way about somebody but be rejected. and also to see that even if we can't be lovers, i'd take his friendship any day, and the fact that we're able to enjoy each others company is infinitely precious to me, and i won't trade it for the world.

i had a little cry just now, and i think i'll go wash up and clean the makeup off my face, then crawl into bed and have another good bout of waterworks. but i duno. i feel like after tonight i'll be brave enough to say: yes, i like him. but we're going to remain as friends and that's ok. i'll have more courage and patience to not try and rush things and hope for anything more. basically let nature take its course.

wow. long post. but i guess i really needed to type this and let it all out cos saying it someone can be pretty embarrassing at times. haha...... he said he is game for doing spontaneous things with me. maybe next time i'll suggest we take a road trip somewhere? :P oh gosh it's 3.47am. i really need to catch some Zs.......

2010-04-30T21:27:00.002+08:00

it's funny how my sister just blogged about how much she misses school. bcos as for me, i really DON'T miss it. hwachong, of course. besides meeting some nice people, that place has given me nothing but heartache and stress. i know i didn't put in as much effort as i should have, but i know that even if i study my hardest, i still won't be able to do well. maybe i'm just not smart enough. touch luck eh? but whatever la. i've just made up my mind to erase hwachong completely from my mind. if people ask me which jc i went to, i'll just say i went straight from crescent to otago. those 3 years spent in that shithole will just be some void in my life which will always remain a blank. even if i become successful next time, i won't say i'm from hwachong. i won't give that place the glory of highlighting the fact that i graduated from there in the newspaper interview.

oh yes. i remember i still have to go back and give some teachers the finger.

2010-04-12T20:08:00.002+08:00

i wish i could write like my sister. :(

i know everyone is different and we all have our own writing styles and techniques,but i like meimei's one. :(((( oh gosh i sound so childish. somehow she always picks out the little tiny details and uses all the right words to describe them so explicitly. *pouts*

anyway........ i don't know why i'm blogging. i suppose........ i don't know what i suppose. *inhales deeply* okok.....focus....

today was the first day of school back after mid-sem break. we had 10 days holiday altogether due to easter friday. the holiday was supposed to be a working holiday because after the break is where we have our tests for the 3 sciences. the most productive thing i did was to finish ALL my physics tutorials nicely in an exercise book. honestly, i don't think it actually takes 1 week to do but aiya! i hate myself la. sometimes i don't know whether i like holidays or not. when its school time, i wish for holiday so i can do a whole day of revision. but when it's holiday, i laze around and don't do as much as i CAN. sis if you are reading this, or anyone who is going away to study, THE DISCIPLINE NEEDED TO ACTUALLY SIT DOWN AND STUDY IS TREMENDOUS. ESPECIALLY WITH NO PARENTS AROUND. seriously. even if there's nothing to do, you will find SOMETHING to do other than study. u would even choose to watch paint dry over opening your books. i'm sooooo behind making bio notes. sigh! the only thing that keeps me going is that my folks are working so hard to send me here, so it's my only source of motivation. but seriously. i don't know where a lot of my time goes. i usually end school like 3,4 plus in the afternoon, watch 2 hours of TV from 5-7pm, and then i'm free to do revision. i think i move to slowly. and dilly-dally. oh lord please help my limbs to move faster! :((((

we celebrated my friend caleb's birthday today. he turned 18, so instead of buying him a cake, we bought him 18 doughnuts. :D and all the donuts were of different flavour, and we put a candle on each of them. omg the outcome with the many colors and the lighted candles were soooooo pretty!!!! seriously. everyone always has birthday cakes. try birthday doughnuts. they're more unique and they stand out. sis, shall we get dad 50 doughnuts for his birthday? :D the best part was he's the only guy among the girls i hang out with. so he's the only guy out of 9 girls, so he basically had 9 girls all to himself to celebrate his birthday for him! sooooo sexayyy i tell u. :P if other guys knew they'd be so jealous. :P

so after the party broke up and some people left, one closer friend of mine opened up to the rest of us who were sill around that she actually smokes. and she's 1 year my junior, so sis' age, and i was pretty shocked cos i never expected it. she said she started smoking last year and used to smoke half a pack a day for fun. and now she's quarreling with her bf and parents so she uses it to relieve stress. while telling us this she got pretty emo and said, "man. i actually feel like a puff now." i don't know why but that scared me so much. i suppose..... destroying your body so young is not exactly something i approve of. especially if you're a teenager. i think i have double standards here but i think i'll be more forgiving if she was in her 20s and NOT younger than me, but thats the way i feel.

which leads me to think how important family upbringing is. for me, i'm legal, but i don't smoke, i don't drink, i don't club, i don't sleep around and i attend all my classes. i don't go wild just because i have the freedom. i behave here exactly the same way as i do back home. and just bcos i don't do those stuff doesn't mean i'm boring or i don't have fun. i think what scares me the most is that if i have kids next time and they disappoint me the way young adults behave, ie. all of the above and more. i don't know why people like to drink until they get drunk and then throw up and behave like idiots. they think it's cool? man they are SO disillusioned. like, don't they know what they're doing to their liver? i know it's mean but when i see and hear about people like that, i silently pray that one day they will have liver cancer and suffer all the pain and shit that cancer patients have to go through. especially compared to innocent kids who are born with the disease, these morons actually abuse their healthy bodies willingly.

oh. fyi. my english teacher told me the definition of a moron is: a person with the intelligence of a vegetable.

yep. sorry this post isn't supposed to be as emo as it turned out to be. i just can't keep my emotions from running high when it comes to certain issues. shit it's late. better go catch some sleep.

2010-03-27T18:41:00.002+08:00

OK LAH OK LAH!!! SCARED OF LIM WAN YING ALREADY LAHHH!!!! but actually.....sigh.... i guess i really have to write something about my birthday.

well, though it was almost a week ago, i gota say it is one of the best birthdays ever!!! i started the day early at 7.30am to meet the folks for breakfast. did i mention my parents flew all the way to NZ to spend my birthday with me? :D haha! anyway i had classes at 9 so i had to eat early. we had mcdonalds for breakfast cos it was near uni, and then i was off to school while the folks went for a scenic train trip.

started off the day with physics tutorial (bleh), and then one of my friends came in and wished me happy birthday! i didn't expect her to remember! then as the day went on, i met more of my friends and all of them wished me too! one girl in class whom i'm not even close to, and whom i didn't even tell was my birthday even gave me a present! i was so touched!!!

then lunch time came, and my friends and i all headed to the lecture theatre which is quite a distance away from our tutorial building. when i reached the lecture theatre, i was settling down to complete an english essay cos i still had time before my next class, when my friend called me and told me to come to go to the field outside cos they had found something. :S i actually suspected something was up, but i went anyway and it was my surprise birthday party!!! :DDDD my friends actually went to buy a cake for me (and mind u it's quite hard to find cakes in NZ for some weird reason) complete with those big 2-0 candles!! I WAS SO TOUCHED OMG. I have the best friends ever! and they went through all the hassle to make sure i wouldn't find out. and of cos, me being one of the most unobservant people in the world, i didn't notice a thing. :P

after class my friends and i headed to our school gym to check out the facilities. it was AWESOME. they have badminton courts, basketball courts, weights, all the fancy machines, pool tables etc, AND IT'S ALL FREE WITH OUR STUDENT ID! WHOOOOT!! ;DDDDD afterwards we went for bubble tea where u all laughed till our stomachs hurt like crap because we were making jokes about bubble tea. :P:P:P i don't think u need much imagination to guess what jokes we were making. :P

in the evening, my parents bought dinner, and nana, michael and daniel came along. we went to this thai restaurant near my house called 'taste thai tonight', cos it was apparently the better thai place in the area, and it was near home. i didn't want to stay out too late on a school night. ok, there's no way to say this nicely, but the food was gross. :P ahahaaha!! seriously. everything tasted wrong. the curry was sweet, :S the noodles were practically drowned in soya sauce.... i though i was gona die of hypertension. but daniel, who has a dragon in his stomach, gamely finished everything we couldn't finish, which is A LOT. really, A LOT. I've never known anyone who can eat so much. i was really impressed.

the folks gave me a happy birthday balloon on a stick which had a plastic wrapped around it to resemble a bouquet, and michael, nana and daniel got me a birthday card and Calvin Klein perfume, which smells FANTASTIC. :D so it was really an awesome ending to a great day. :D

that wraps up my birthday! dad left yesterday, and he just texted me to say that he just touched down in singapore. as i'm typing this i'm looking at the clock and he and sis must be at aunty allyson's place having a ball of a time when the rest of the LIM family and darryl and kim. :((((( i HATE it when i miss fun gatherings like this :( mum is still with me, and she's leaving on wednesday. she's supposed to stay with me at my house but she's too spoilt - can't share toilet and everything. so she checked into a hotel and i'm sleeping over with her.

k. hope this post's been long enough. cya!

2010-03-10T17:26:00.002+08:00

I LOVE DUNEDIN FASHION WEEK!!!

HAHA! i came home tonight and nana and i settled into our normal routine every night. having dinner in front of the tv, watching friends, neighbours (an Australian show), then friends again in that order. we actually don't really watch neighbours but it's between 2 friends episodes, so what the heck. the storyline is super complicated bcos basically everyone is sleeping with everyone and it's just so screwed up.

anyway, we were watching friends halfway when nana said that it was dunedin fashion week this week! and she said for today only, there will be some participating stores open till 9pm, so would i want to go shopping? so i said yes and we went after the 2nd friends episode, that finished at 7pm, which was perfect cos it's free parking after 6pm. the carpark attendants don't work late see. :D in fact, no one in NZ does except for SOME restaurants.

so off we went! nana actually DRESSED UP for the occasion, tying her hair and applying makeup complete with a dress and high heels. i just threw on a coat and my pair of cute slippers. everyone who sees my slippers comments on how cute they are. the people who greeted us at the door and offered us free champagne were so fascinated by them. i felt so special. haha!! our first stop was a shoe store that i really liked. they were having a sale. 1 pair for $130, and 2 pairs for $230. i want a pair of cowboy boots so badly so i tried on a brown one which was probably the closest thing they had to it, but it pinched my feet really painfully in front. sure, it looked good on me, but i didn't want to spend money on something that's uncomfortable. i comfort myself by saying i'll find my perfect pair in time. :D so i bought a pair of black boots, and another pair of greyish-blue boots. NZ HAS GOT AWESOME BOOTS!! WHOOOOOT!! and the best thing is they have my size. :D

then we went to another store where nana bought 2 pairs of sunglasses cos she loves them, and they had a lucky draw! so we waited behind for the results and the prize was fantastic. u get VIP tickets to the fashion show on saturday, get like $600 worth of free makeup, and basically you're treated like a hollywood star for a day. omg nana and i were praying for it so bad. but of cos, as usual we didn't get it. the person called out 3 people's names and they apparently weren't in the store anymore, so she called out the 4th one and the person responded like, "oh. that's me." like, as nonchalantly as responding to a teacher taking attendance or something. nana and i were like, what?! at least sound more enthusiastic. u just won't a fantabulous prize!!! -_-'''

so we wanted to walk round more but shops were starting to close and it started drizzling. so we left and now i'm home admiring my new boots. :D yay i'm happy! shopping = liberation.

omg i SOOO need to do laundry, ironing and vacuuming tomorrow. :(

2010-03-02T12:03:00.002+08:00

i am extremely grateful and thankful that i have survived my first 2 days at school. i've met good people, though not many, but i rather meet one decent person than meet 10 jerks. i had 3 science lectures in a row today, from 9am to 12pm. bio, chem, physics. they're only introductory so it's not so bad but i know when the work load gets heavier, my brain is gona get fried. my chem lecturer is also my physics tutor, and he's from canada! it's so nice to hear his accent other than the kiwi one for a change. and what i like best about my tutors is that they're all so passionate about what they teach and they make lessons really interesting. maybe they couldn't do it in hwachong cos there's really now way to make mitosis or ionic equilibria fun, but aiya, the teachers also fail la.

yep. i'm tired so this is gona be a short one. bye.

2010-02-27T16:15:00.002+08:00

AIYOOO I'M SOOOOOOOOO LAZY TO BLOG LAHHH!!! :(((((

k. this whole week has been orientation week so i haven't had any classes yet. next monday is the first day of lessons. BAHH SO SIANZZZZ!!!! :(((( i got be in school by 8am and i have to walk SUPER FAR in the cold to get my timetable in some god forsaken location in the school, then hurry off to my first science lecture. duno which science it is, but i have a feeling it's bio. UGHH.

i don't know if i mentioned in my last blog post but i took a math test on tue for me to take an algebra and calculus class, and i got full marks! whhooot! i haven't had full marks anything since i was 7. ahahahaha!!! so on wed it was kinda and off day for me so nana and i went to the ONLY CINEMA IN DUNEDIN, or rather the cinema that shows young people movies, to watch shutter island. the other cinema shows the more old people shows. :P i actually was quite scared to watch it cos i thought it would give me nightmares, but the only other choice we had was "have you met the morgans". dude. of cos mr scorsese would win man. turns out, as expected, it was BRILLIANT. the twist in the story just BLOWS YOUR MIND MAN. TOTALLY GOES BOOMZ. i think u don't really expect it cos the trailer, if u have watched it, really throws u off track. AND IT ISN'T SHOWING IN SINGAPORE YET! WOOOT! NZ is ahead in something! :P ahaahahahah!! yea. so if u haven't seen it, go see it. great film. and i love NZ cinemas. the leg room is wow. like seriously WOW. u can stretch your legs out to the max and still have space for people to walk. awesome.

thursday was boring. more talks, and then we had to do an english diagnostic test. i felt i was in GP all over again. the test was to write and essay on the topic "what do u think is the 3 most pressing problems in the world today?" we had 40 mins to write it, so i don't think they expect too much. i just wrote about global warming, sex trafficking and terrorism. then after that was more talks and time for home.

friday was probably the most painful. we started the day at 10am with 2 hours of talks and intro to the staff. i wanted to dieeeeeee!!! then we had a bbq where they brought us to chingford park and the sun was soooo hot omg. i was gona be burnt but luckily one girl had sunblock. i told myself that if i could survive this bbq i can do anything. so the fact i'm still sitting here is testament to my survival. thank god.

today i slept in. woke up about 12+. i tell u, after not going to school for so long totally screws up your brain man. no stamina already. nana and i went to the uni library to print out some forms immigration wants me to submit. OMG IMMIGRATION IS SUCH A BITCH I TELL U. they want me take a blood test, urine test, and xray. i'm sorry to say this, but HELLO. I COME FROM SINGAPORE. we're not a freaking third world country where we are plagued with all the funny diseases. do i really have to do this??!?! and i have a bad feeling i have to freaking PAY. omg i don't wana think how expensive it's gona be. on monday i'm gona to speak to some people in school and ask them if i really have to do this stupid thing.

so last night and today i spent my time researching and comparing credit cards. i currently have a visa card from my bank, but they don't give me any rewards. such as points and stuff so that i can redeem items after i've spent a certain amount. so i'm gona give up the one i have now and apply for another card from another bank. and since banks annoyingly do not open on weekends, i have to wait till monday before going to ask them how i'm gona pay my bills on this new card i'm going to apply for, because here they don't believe in using cheques. -_-''' but i also have a bad feeling my lessons would end at 5pm on monday and the banks would all have closed by the time i can get down there. UGH MY GOD SO ANNOYING!!!! :((((((((((

so tmr is sunday and i'm gona make sure i enjoy myself. it's my last day before the rat race begins. wow. i can't believe that i've been here for more than a week already. i still remember how i was pinching myself after waking up after my first night.

2010-02-23T11:03:00.002+08:00

whoops. sorry i forgot to blog the last few days. haha! well nevermind. better late than never.

k. on sunday the 4 of us went to the otago peninsular. erm, i can't really describe how it looked like so if u wana know just go google images. nila, nana's mum has got some serious driving skills. cos to get there we had to drive the perimeter of the otago harbour, or at least i assume it is, and it's not exactly a straight road. there are some very curvy bends and the speed limit is 70. which in this case, means the SLOWEST u can drive is 70. not allowed to go slower than that. haha! total opposite of back home. so you actually have to have experience to navigate the way. finally we arrived and we got to see the sea and albatrosses, which is our national bird. they're a bigger species of seagulls,and some of their wingspans can go beyond 2m. yep. big bird.

on our way back we stopped by a pottery store run by this lady. daniel bought one of those cheesy valentine souvenir things, a key with the head shaped like a heart with a red plastic crystal. and the packaging says "you hold the key to my heart." we were all joking about how if he gives a girl that and she turns him down, she can stomp on it and say "here. you can have your heart back." LOL!! and also while he gives her the key to his heart, the key to his pants is a bonus. AHAHHAHAHAH!!! I was laughing REALLY hard at that one!!! :P and he also said that this kind of gifts is only better for guys to give to girls. cos if a girl gives the guy a key..... she's kinda suggesting something else..... :P

yep. it was a hot day and when we headed back, we had an early dinner. and after dinner, nila asked nana to give her a massage by walking on her back. it was really quite a funny sight cos daniel filmed it and he said if he just listened to the sound and not the video, the sounds were actually quite suggestive. :P so the 4 of us were laughing like maniacs over it. then the 4 of us went to the airport to send nila off. i think i was actually more sad than nana to see her mum go. cos she's so used to being on her own, but i've always been with my mum. so seeing my only mother figure go wasn't easy either. so the 3 of us youngsters piled back into the car and listened to music on the way home with daniel making funny comments and actions from the backseat. the guy is such a clown. :P

yep! so that basically completes sunday! monday nana had to work again and daniel had classes till 6, so i was all alone at home for the day. bored to tears i tell you! i thought back to how i spent my time at home in singapore, and i realised why i was so bored was because 1. i don't have my guitar with me 2. no cable tv. bummer. i tried to go to sleep early, at bout 9+ but i just couldn't fall asleep. so i put on my discman to lull me to sleep. but i didn't get a good sleep anyway. :(

so today was tuesday, and i woke up at 9am even though i didn't need to leave the house by 11am to walk to school. so i took my own sweet time to eat breakfast, wash up and change. at 11am i left home to walk to school for registration day. there the head of our programme gave us a welcome talk and we had to fill out some admin forms. for my health science course i had a choice to do basic math or calculus and algebra. so i chose to do calculus and algebra so i had to stay behind to take an extra math test. gosh, i hadn't used my brain in so long to do math, it was actually painful! :P but thank god it was really easy and i think i should be qualified to take the class.

i made 2 new friends today. one girl was called bellina, belle for short, and she's from malaysia. the other guy, steven, was from singapore as well, though he's malaysian so he doesn't need to do NS. i was touched that the 2 of them waited for me outside to finish my test cos i was checking my work. OH GOD I'M SO CARELESS IT'S DISGUSTING. anyway, so the 3 of us went to get our student IDs done. and as usual, i look like an idiot in my picture. ugh. i never have nice IDs. never mind. i'm not gona cry over it. then we went to get our lab coats before heading to town for lunch.

we ate at this restaurant called chopsticks 101. they serve asian food and apparently they serve huge portions for a reasonable price. but i didn't find the prices all that competitive. the lowest i saw for noodles was $8.50. and the noodles i ordered was pretty disgusting. salty and tasteless. YUCK. :( so i left quite a bit behind and belle and steven were asking if i was gona pack my food. no jose. haha! and halfway while waiting for our food, the was a blackout! and we were still waiting for our food so steven was like, "great. half cooked food." haha! but half or fully cooked, i don't think my noodles would have tasted much better anyway. when we finished we were the last ones in the store cos they couldn't have more customers with no electricity. belle walked to the hospital for her homestay family to pick her up, cos she stays on a hill and it's a bitch to walk up, especially in this summer heat. steven stays near me though he has to walk a little further. he stays on a hill too while i stay on the flats. so belle left us half way while steven and i continued walking. we found out we actually knew some mutual people so that was cool. and he's been in Dunedin for a month already and didn't spend CNY back home. i don't know man. i'd be SUPER pissed if i wasn't home for CNY.

belle wants to do pharmacy while steven wants to do medicine. i think they're pretty decent people so i hope we can see more of each other.

yep! so i'm home now and it's nearly 5pm. i think i'll go shower then watch a dvd or something. k. bye!

2010-02-20T17:57:00.002+08:00

today is saturday, and nana and her mum, nila, brought me to the farmer's market. it's something like our pasar malam back home, except it's in the day and it's run by ang mohs. well, not totally angmohs. u can always rely on some asian infiltration some where. :P

so i set my alarm clock for 8.15am, which i promptly switched off and went back to sleep cos i was too tired. i slept at 2.30am the previous night cos i got too caught up in my book. it was 10.15am when i cracked open my eyes again, and still they were half closed. then nana knocked on my door to ask if i wanted to go to the farmer's market so i HAD to get up. i went out of my room to see daniel just having woken up too. so after washing up the 4 of us piled into the car and we were off!

before heading to the market we stopped by a garage sale run by amnesty international. nila bought some random stuff like a home phone, cutlery, cos apparently they're really expensive in New Zealand -_-''', and trolley marketing bag and nana bought a big of highlighters. did you know that one stabilo highlighter costs 5 bucks here?!?!! it's robbery, i swear. so for all those items, it only cost $7. so i guess garage sales are good!

after that we were off to the market. parking was a bitch cos it was pretty crowded, and people only wanted to park at the free carpark. finally we got a lot. i saw some pretty cool stuff. basically these people are farmers and they bring their stuff to this place to sell. the first stop was this guy who grew organic garlic and he sold them as pastes and stuff that u can apply on crackers. good stuff. nila bought a free range chicken (yes, it was dead and plucked) cos they're healthier as they aren't injected with hormones. next we were on to the vegetable store, and nila bought one whole big bag of basil leaves for $7. food is actually really expensive in new zealand. there was a crepe stand which sold really good crepes. nana and i shared one passionfruit and whipped cream. sinful but oh-so-good. we also bought dumplings from a mother and daughter team from china. by the end of the day i was so so full. it's too much to give all the details here. i don't have pictures to show here cos i was too lazy to take them. i hate taking photos. they make you look so touristy and you're so busy snapping shots that you're not actually paying attention to the things happening around you.

afterwards we went home to deposit the food cos we had fresh meats with us. nila did some cooking while daniel went to sleep. then the 3 of us girls went to meridian mall, the ONLY shopping mall in dunedin. i got my SIM card and my new mobile phone number. i was allowed to choose my number according to the SIM card, so the girl brought out a whole stack for me to choose. but i ended up choosing the first one i saw cos i felt the number was easiest to remember. then we strolled round the mall a bit and nana went to try on some boots. shoes here are CRAZY EXPENSIVE k. like even after discounts, they're still $100+. siao. i'm definitely not buying any shoes here. finally our last stop was k-mart were i bought so household stuff i needed. then we headed home and i took a shower before calling my parents and talking to yingxy on the webcam.

i left yingxy when nana called me for dinner, and the 4 of us had our meal. all the leftovers were given to daniel, who gamely finished everything. nila and nana says that daniel has a dragon in his stomach cos he eats so much. after dinner nana and i walked to the convenience store nearest our house but it was already closed. so we had to walk back and drive to the store in town which opened later. nila needed some stuff to make indonesian pancake thingies, which look really good and i can't wait to try in the near future. nana, nila and daniel set down to making pancakes while i retired to my room for a while to read and joined them again later. nila is a really cool mom, and she really brings out the crazy side in nana. i can't describe her really, except that she's really childish for a mum in her mannerisms but at the same time you can tell that she really loves her daughter and always gives good advice. when we were at k-mart she was playing with this pink rubber ball she picked up from a random shelf and asked nana to buy it for her. :P i don't know if nana really did. haha! shall ask her tomorrow. yep. so seeing the 2 of them being so loving and enjoying each other's company so much made me laugh but really miss my mum too. and my dad and sis and ping and and everyone back home. :(

on a happier note i think i'm adjusting better that i expected. i haven't cried since i spoke to mum on the webcam, and that's because she started crying first. i'm sure i'm homesick but right now i'm not really feeling it that much. maybe the feeling is buried somewhere deep in my heart which has not been unleashed yet. right now i'm just living day to day. i initially thought that i would miss home so bad that i make myself sick, but fortunately it's not happening that way, so for that i'm thankful.

2010-02-19T16:32:00.002+08:00

wow. i haven't blogged since october. that's like 4 to 5 months ago. even before A levels. man, does time really pass so fast? geez!

well, greetings from New Zealand! it's my second night here. so i can't say i'm a big fan of the place yet. even Yohana, or Nana as i call her, says that she understands what a big change i'm facing. they only have 1 mall in the entire city, and 1 cinema.and apparently even that's pretty pathetic. sigh. so i've basically moved from modern times to the stone age. sigh.....

well, for the sake of those who weren't there to see me off at the airport, namely yingxy, i better have a little more elaboration. so i had a small entourage to send me off at the airport. i am very touched and thankful to all family and friends who took time off to send me off. the list consists of my family, aunty allyson, yangx, aunty, uncle donald's family minus debbie and sam, and my 5 friends: Jiaying,yanqi, lou, yihui and joyce. i really now truly understand the feeling of being loved. all my aunts and uncles who gave me extra big ang pows and supported me and thought of me, i thank you all. i really am blessed.

i really thought i would cry on the plane, but fortunately i didn't. aunty allyson gave me her discman which she doesn't use anymore,so at least i had some of my own music to listen to. i was a little pissed off that i didn't sleep well on the plane, which is bad cos NZ is 5 hours ahead of singapore. so when we touched down at 10+ in the morning NZ time, it was only 5+ singapore time. and i'm NEVER up before 6. then i had to go through immigration, which was such a bitch cos i had visa complications, and when that was settled i declared that i had pineapple tarts and stuff so i had to queue up with the rest of the people and wait for an officer to open my bags and take everything out. ugh, thank god i had 3 hours before my connecting flight. the whole irony of the situation was that instead of taking my pineapple tarts, they took my po chai pills instead. -_-''' wth man.

so i finally went through after what seemed like forever, then proceeded to the domestic hall, checked my luggage in, got my ticket, and then waited a while until i was on my way again. when i boarded my domestic flight, there was this huge guy sitting beside me. he wasn't fat, just really tall and muscular, so i was still dwarfed beside him. and i felt sorry for him that he had so little leg room compared to me cos he was so big. then i noticed another guy in a blue shirt diagonally in front of me cos of his tattoo on his arm. i didn't think much of it as i spent most of the flight catching up on sleep. only after touch down and i stood up to get my bags from the over head compartment did i notice that the 6 or 7 rows in front of me were occupied by really hot, muscular guys all in the same blue jerseys. and i was like,wait, there is NO WAY that the All Blacks fly coach with the rest of us commoners. they surely must have their own private jet. then i saw their jerseys that said "blues", so i was like, ok. i KNEW the All Blacks wouldn't travel with us. so i got off the plane and met Nana, who greeted me at the arrival gate with my name on a card! i was so excited, cos i had never been greeted like that before!

so we were off for home, but before home, we made a detour to the supermarket to pick up breakfast supplies and then we came home! my room is quite nice, we just have to share the toilet. the house used to be a boarding house, so all our rooms still have numbers on them. :P i'm in room number 3. there are 4 rooms, a toilet and a kitchen. Nana is in room 1, and her godbrother daniel is room 4.he's pretty nice too. i actually thought he's kinda cute but he's waaaaaayyyy too short for me. :P he's really open and friendly so he's the kind of person that you don't feel uncomfortable with when you first meet. so i don't know who is going to have the last room, but for now it's just us 3 teenagers in the house, cos nana's mum is away in christchurch for business.

dinner that night was quite a fun affair. michael, nana's friend and former flat mate who used to live in my room last year, came over for dinner. he's doing medicine cos he couldn't get into dentistry. haha, how's that for a switch! then daniel came back and the 4 of use talked until 11+ at night. after that, 4 of us piled into nana's car to fetch michael back to his flat.

after coming home, i went to shower and all, then settled down to talk to mum,dad and sis on the webcam. we talked until 2am NZ time, and then i went to bed.

when i woke up today, omg guess what time i awoke. hold your breathe people. 4PM! YES YOU SAW RIGHT! 1600 HOURS! i was like,omg u have got to be kidding me. the jetlag knocked me out for like 14 hours! and it didn't help that it's summer now and we have really long days. the sky doesn't turn dark till 9pm. so i had no idea how late it was until i found my clock and my eyes popped.

i hurried to wash up and change and made a dash to my school building to settle my visa stuff and pass pineapple tarts to the accommodation ladies who were a big help to us the last time. i was too late for the bank cos everywhere closes at 5pm. then i walked to a convenience store to buy 2 bottles of water before coming home.

when i walked through the door nana was home already and she was cooking my dinner. we sat and talked while we ate then we watched my Prince Caspian DVD. then she went to take a nap cos of her long day before waking up again to fetch her mum that had come down from christchurch to see me. haha! i feel like a VIP! :P so i just met her mum and she's a gem. she's given me lots of good advice and she's really supportive, telling me that she really wants me to be a doctor or dentist too. i really wish she would be around more like a regular mom, but she's stationed in christchurch so i only see her about once a month or so. ahhh well. i guess we can't have everything.

right. so tomorrow nana says she wants to bring me to the farmer's market, which is something like our pasar malam. then she's bring me to The Warehouse to buy household supplies and get a phone line.

so yep! that's for the moment. my second day of a potential 6 years in New Zealand.

2009-10-03T23:03:00.002+08:00

today started off horrible but thankfully it ended better. all i have to say is: OMG SINGAPORE YOU REALLY HAVE TO IMPROVE ON YOUR HORRENDOUS STANDARD OF CUSTOMER SERVICE. :(

mum went to the doctor's at mt elizabeth for her blood test whilst i went window shopping. when we finally met up again she told me that the nurses at the clinic were horrible. apparently there was this Caucasian woman before her who looked to be in pain. and when she approached them for some water, they said, "oh. our water is boiling hot you know?" but she still wanted it cos i suppose she really needed it, so when it was ready, instead of delivering it to the poor woman who is less than a metre away, she just left it on the counter for the woman to get it herself. not only is the customer service bad, but they obviously have no compassion. i mean, HELLO. THERE IS A FELLOW HUMAN BEING HERE WHO IS IN PAIN AND YOU DON'T CARE TO HELP HER BUT JUST CONTINUE WITH YOUR IDLE CHIT CHAT?! but what really got my blood boiling was that my mum had to wait like, half an hour for her blood test. i really don't understand how this whole thing works. whats the fucking point of making an appointment if we still have to wait half an hour?!?!?!?! it happened yesterday when i went with my mum with the clinic too. so apparently the blood test guy finally came, and when he was ready, those fucking brainless nurses said that the room wasn't ready. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IT WASN'T READY?! IF IT ISN'T READY U HAD THE PAST FREAKING HALF HOUR TO READY IT YOU BRAINLESS ASSHOLES!!! instead, no! u just choose to sit there and talk with one another instead of doing your job! so my mum wasn't going to wait anymore, so they wanted to do the test in the sitting room. but the nurse said they couldn't do it there, so they ended up behind the counter or something. so basically, these fools couldn't grasp these 2 concepts:
1) if the room isn't ready, don't schedule an appointment at that specific time that it's used! i mean, HELLO!! COMMON SENSE, ANYONE?!?!?!

2) time is precious.

i told my mum that i would go with her for her next visit, which should be about 2 weeks time. if those 2 clowns choose to be funny with me, i'll make sure to be 'funnier' than them. keep me waiting for more than 15, no, 10 minutes, and i'll make sure i'll raise hell and fire. i'm usually a very patient and understanding person. but push me too far and i'll show no mercy.

next, we went to the food court at ion orchard. my mum wanted to eat bak kut teh. so apparently this bak kut teh stall had an area reserved for their customers, so my mum wanted to sit outside this area so i could eat something else from another stall. since i was off buying my food, my mum took our bags and went off nearby to find another table. but before she could walk far, the woman from the bak kut teh stall shouted for her to say that she hadn't paid. and my mum was affronted cos she had her hands full with our 2 bags to carry and this crazy woman was demanding her to pay for her food immediately. like, wth man! at least have the courtesy to wait for my mum to put down her stuff first. it's not like we're gona run away. so my mum said that she might as well not eat, but the woman said the stuff was being cooked already. i tell you, if i were my mum, i'd say: "like i give a damn whether or not your food is cooked. i'm walking away. WATCH ME." but of cos my mum couldn't. -_-''' next time.....wait till the next time....

on my side, i ordered noodles from another stall, and i had to wait for 10-15 minutes for it. and the girl didn't even apologise or say anything about keeping me waiting so long. i was so tempted to ask her: "are you planning of serving me by the next century?" i SWEAR i could FEEL my hair turning white. i'm never going back there.

thankfully our bad experiences ended there for the day. can you imagine, 3 bad run-ins before noon! i was in a damn foul mood, and i really was looking for another chance for me to give someone a piece of my mind. but we ended up at liz claibourne and they treated us decently, and we also found a gem of a shoe shop where they sell really comfy, unique looking shoes made of natural materials like coconut husks and rubber and leather. i'm definitely going to become a regular customer. and of cos the salesgirls were really nice too. thank god.

i had tuition after our shopping trip, and i still couldn't get my mind off our unfortunate encounters. i was so distracted and angry. shit man. bloody bastards ruined my day. :(((((( even now, just recounting them makes me thirst for blood. if i were a vampire, they'd be the first people i'd kill.

wow. my first long post in a while. and it has to be so depressing. UGH.

2009-09-22T16:08:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MILEY CYRUS!!!! :DDDDDD

i know what you all are thinking, but too bad. i like what i like ok?? deal with it. :)

i'm dying!! i can't wait for "The Last Song" to come out!! thank god there's the gorgeous Liam Hemsworth to distract me from Taylor Lautner. :P

2009-09-17T13:42:00.000+08:00

I am absolutely terrified of going to university. the last thing i want is for uni to be like jc all over again.

JC= doing things i fucking hate but i have no choice or my future is screwed.

no way am i gona pay thousands of dollars and put myself through hell again.

2009-09-16T20:05:00.002+08:00

i have discovered internet on my phone! N im typing this post on my phone! Yay omg im so happy! Nokia sent me an sms telling me how to connect, so i experimented n tapped onto my house wifi. Im a genius. :D this is also another source of distraction cos i can hop on to youtube anytime n watch the new new monn trailer over n over. I swear i have it memorised already. N im smack in the middle of prelims n like 50 days away from As. Great.

2009-09-11T23:08:00.002+08:00

September 11.

today, it has been exactly 8 years since the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Centre in New York City. it's not about 11+pm in Singapore, which is about 11am in the morning in new york. the first plane hit at about 8.45am in the morning, and this time 8 years ago, people were in a frenzy, rushing to evacuate to New Jersey, trying desperately to get through phone lines to contact their love ones........ yes. it is roughly about this time.

8 years ago, 2 planes crashed into the north and south towers, and killed thousands of people in the building, in the plane, and emotionally scarred millions more. 8 years ago, NYC was like a ghost town, with debris lining miles away from the site. 8 years ago, mankind witnessed one of the most barbaric and inhumane acts ever committed. 8 years ago, people screamed in fear as the second plane crashed into the second tower. 8 years ago, people watched as their fellow citizens were trapped in a burning building of over 1000 degrees celcius, and for those who couldn't take it, we watched as people hurled themselves out of the 78th floor to their deaths. on camera, they look no more than a small black mass. but that is a human being. 8 years ago, some were lucky they woke up late for work because they had watched a football game late into the night and thus survived to live another day. 8 years ago, people lost fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, cousins, friends...... 8 years ago the world watched shell-shocked as the twin towers came crashing down. 8 years ago, people gathered in Times Square in front of the big TV with hands covering their mouths and tears in their eyes, crying for those they knew and didn't know. 8 years ago, many lives were changed forever.

now, 8 years later, children have grown up without their parents. some girls will never have their father-daughter dance at their wedding. people will be holding pictures of their lost loved ones with tears in their eyes. people will be observing a few minutes of silence. i haven't lost anyone from this horrific incident, but it still makes me tear because so many innocent lives are lost and affected for nothing. it isn't fair for another human to go through that kind of pain.

today, i still wonder how people can be so cruel to commit such an act. my thoughts are with those who have lost people who are dear to them. because even after 8 years, i'm sure it's still hard.

2009-09-03T18:58:00.002+08:00

i have come to the conclusion that i'm nothing like Isabella Swan.

ok i wouldn't say absolutely nothing, but we have a lot less in common than i expected. i used to think, "omg, stephanie meyer wrote a book about me." cos i expect myself to act the exact same way that bella would if faced with the same situation. but today, after reading new moon and twilight for the 951515165465213232644th time, i realise there are many areas in which we are different. for example:

1. i can tell that bella is a very smart, disciplined girl. i mean, she actually completes homework on time. i erm..... don't. ahahaha!! 60 over days to exams and i'm still reading twilight. tsk tsk......

2. bella's an excellent cook. i can't even boil water. (or at least i haven't tried......)

3. she watched horror and gore shows. i watched 15 minutes of house of wax and couldn't sleep well for 2 weeks.

4. bella dislikes music. i LIVE for music. it's a really big part of my life. oh yes, i play piano but she doesn't.

5. she has a really mellow sort of personality. likes to be alone, very level-headed, doesn't like to draw attention to herself. i am like that sometimes, but i do go crazy once in a while. :P i'd like to think i'm a little more cheerful than she is.

i'm sure there's still many more contrasting points i have yet to unearth, but these would do for now. but i do wish that i'll have a daughter like her when i grow up. she's like, the perfect child. for me at least. i really wish i was more like bella. i really do.

i'm gona shower for the 2nd time today. <----- random thought :P

blogging doesn't strike me as something very bella-ish. she's the last person to want to let people know what is going on in her life.

and bella wouldn't be here blogging if she has exams so close. she would be mugging her ass off. and of course she'd have the gorgeous genius edward cullen to help her.

2009-09-02T23:07:00.002+08:00

i don't think anyone is gona read this anytime soon cos everyone has kinda given up on my blog after so long an absence. ahaahahah!!!! duno why i suddenly got into the mood tonight.

yingxy and nick just broke up. i was kinda hoping they would last till december when i go over so i can meet the guy who is so important to her. but all my fantasies and planning has gone to waste cos it's not happening now. im just so worried she'd go off with that kevin guy who smokes (or used to. who cares. it's all the same) and does drugs and treats him as a rebound guy. and the worst thing is she doesn't know it. and my ultimate fear is that she'll get drunk and get herself raped or something. yingx, if you read this, DON'T u dare say it won't happen to u. all those rape victims never expects it to happen to them anyway. as your older cousin, or big sis, i have the right to worry.

then i go on to see sam's facebook profile. he's dating some other girl who isn't half as pretty as lou is. and my first thought is "he leaves lou for her?" i shall not attempt to understand how a guy's mind works. but what i can say is that these 2 people i know have seriously put me off relationships for a while. that's why i stick to romance novels, chick flicks, and my own imagination. they never let you know, and u have a never ending flow of romance anyway. and i don't need a man to have kids. i'll just go visit some sperm bank or something. LOL.

i'm not going to be childish and say i'm not gona fall in love or get married. i know i'll find the right guy in time. but sometimes i wish i can just jump into those fairytales and ride off with my prince into the sunset. it really saves everyone a lot of time, money and heartbreak.

2009-07-08T22:41:00.002+08:00

wow. haven't updated in what.......3 weeks?? haha...i think this is my longest absence to date. so since i have missing for so long, shall we do a long one?? lol....to think i planned to sleep early tonight.

woke up late this morning. :P woke at 6.20am when we leave house by 6.30am. washed up and gulped down some breakfast, then left for the last darn chem exam. duno why we always leave later than usual when only one of us goes to school. so paper 1 (mcq) was killer as usual. paper 2 was a bit easier. still left blanks, but considering how "perfectly wonderfully" the rest of my papers went, it's very good already.

went for yoga at 12.15pm, then went to town to get my "angus, thongs and perfect snogging" soundtrack. i scouted for it like forever. That CD Shop didn't have it, sembawang didn't have it. so i ended up at HMV and had to pay a premium for it. *winces* can't help it. i'm sure borders would be about the same price too. i really, REALLY love "angus, thongs and perfect snogging". it's one of my favourite movies of ALL TIME. i think it's tied with twilight. definately my fave over the notebook. so that's saying alot eh?? :D i love it, and the guy's hot. :D aaron johnson is the only one who is able to make me forget about taylor lautner. :P so sis let me watch her episodes of "nearly famous" which he stars in, and i think i have a growing interest in british drama series. considering "Friends" is soooooo last year........ :P

so after that, i went to miao qun's place. by the time i reached her it was 3pm, so we had a late lunch at sakae sushi at west mall. it was buffet so we ate our fill, and i was so full that i didn't eat dinner. then we went down to bukit batok driving centre cos she wanted to pass a thank you present to her driving instructor. i must say BBDC is much, much prettier than mine in ang mo kio. it looks more modern and clean, with shorter queues and chilly aircon. my ang mo kio school just looks old and run down.

my conversations with miao qun never fails to surround the topic of christianity. it irks me to no end cos she's so staunch. i duno why i hang out with her sometimes. :P yea sure, she's my good friend. i'm sure if she wasn't i would have socked her in the face a long time ago. i must make an effort to put down a rule that says, "NO TALK ABOUT RELIGION IN OUR CONVERSATION." but ahhhh well. she's leaving for UK in september, so there's not a lot of time left. better make the best of it.

the funny thing that happened was this. we had 4 buses to take. 66, 157, 852 and 970. 970 is the bus that never comes, but i wanted to take it bcos it takes me straight to 6th avenue to pick up something. sure i can still go with the 3 other buses, but i'd have to walk a lot more. so we were waiting, and then 66 and 157 came. i was reluctant to board, but we didn't have time to wait forever either. so as the 2 buses approached, i said, "come on 970. i give you 5 seconds to appear before we board the bus." and lo and behold, it DID come that very moment!!!! i was whooping and pumping my fist in the air while miao qun was laughing at me. i tell you, who needs a god when i have THE POWER???? :P:P:P god is just dog spelt backward anyway. :D hehehehe....can god make the bus come in 5 seconds? NO. well, i just did. so who is superior?? the answer is clear. :D AHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!!

we went back to miao qun's house to pick up my bag after 6th avenue and then i went home. skipped dinner and have just finished watching 2.5 episodes of "Nearly famous" on sis' com until she came in and demanded me to leave for her to sleep. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EPISODE!!! *grumble* ahhh well, i guess she's already nice enough for letting me watch it on her com. yea. so now here i am, with my new soundtrack playing the background while i'm typing this. i haven't needed to skip a single track yet, so it's a good sign. :D

i duno if this is considered a long post. considering how long yingxy writes......

i wonder how actors watch themselves on tv when they have sex scenes. won't their friends see it? PARENTS? THEIR KIDS?!! omg i so DO NOT want to see my parent having sex with someone on screen man. and vice versa. i think i'd be mortified for my parents and my kids to see me having sex. :S *shudders* if i ever have a love scene in a movie, i'm banning all the people i know from watching it. :P and my friends?? ughhh......do u WANT to see your classmate or friend having sex??!!! ohhh my eyes!!! spare them the agony!!! ahahahaah!!! :P i suppose this is one of the necessary sacrifices for art then.

i am slowly but surely releasing my passion and interest for the performing arts. i really can't see myself sitting behind a desk all day next time. and to think my mum has been persuading me to do Accountancy! oh god noooooo................ :((((((((

2009-06-17T19:47:00.002+08:00

i haven't read my sis' blog in ages. and i do enjoy her writing very much. it's because she uses the right words at the right time, and she doesn't sound like she's trying too hard to score with her bombastic vocabulary. unlike *ahem ahem*. shan't say the name here. ok, i have officially exploded my sis' ego to monstrous proportions but ahhh.....nvm. once in a blue moon, i'd let it go. :P and she actually implied she missed me a little when i had to give tuition the whole of last week!!! wow!! that coming from my sis, it's like "I love you." equivalent of Dudley saying to Harry in farewell in Deathly Hallows: "I don't think you're a waste of space." hmmm.......there is hope in the world after all!! :D:D:D

Sam Worthington is HOT. and he's an amazing actor. as all the newspapers said, he TOTALLY held his own opposite Christian Bale. he looks like that guy (whose name escapes me right now and i'm lazy to google it) who played Sabretooth in Wolverine. Wolverine's bro. yea, that guy. but Sam's the more handsome version. and Christian Bale is one intimidating guy. so Sam Worthington is able to look him in the eye without flinching, and have as much screen time as him, well done man. and he's sooooo goodlooking my god, that the entire time i was watching him, please excuse my dirty mind, (if you're under 18 stop reading) i was like, "omg i soooo wana have sex with this guy." like seriously. even Taylor Lautner was out of my mind for 2 hours. if only i could jump into the film, nothing's gona stop me from ripping his clothes off and making love to him then and there. who cares if he's half robot.

i'm so glad my parents don't read my blog. it would be pretty embarrassing.

2009-06-14T23:34:00.002+08:00

today was my niece and nephew's (they're twins) first birthday party. so my afternoon was gone, and we were subsequently invited to a jap restaurant for dinner. i was really torn about whether to go or not, cos i really need to study but there will be a free flow of sashimi there....... and it's not those lousy sashimi like at sushi tei or sakae sushi. they actually serve good tuna belly and swordfish. so in the end, the sashimi won and i went for dinner. sorry lahhh......how do you expect me to turn down free sashimi like that??? and i stayed home i would be bak chor mee...... so the choice is pretty obvious. :P

so the result of my greed is my undone math remedial homework, and guess what. my remedial is tmr MONRING, 9AM. so you see why i'm not sleeping yet. :P

i'm meeting miao qun tmr for lunch and movie. we had actually planned a sleepover. but i'm glad she made the initiative to reduce it to just a day outing. i really need the time to mug man....

oh i finally remembered the reason i wanted to blog!!! ahahaha......was typing a bit of crap before while i was trying to recall... :P so at dinner tonight, i met my cousin-in-law, and he was wearing a USC tshirt. so i was like, "you went to USC?" and he said "yes." and i went, "you did?!?! no freaking way!! that's like, my DREAM SCHOOL!!!" seriously. i would go there anyday over, Harvard or Yale. and he started telling me some real cool stuff about the place. like the sun is shining but it's never hot, and there's a lot of sightseeing to do. lots of celebrities too. he said he saw Cindy Crawford (my jaw dropped) and Andre Agassi driving either a Ferrari or Lamboughini (I was already slapping myself stupid by this time). and he told me that i have to go to one of the USC Vs UCLA football games, cos the atmosphere is unbelievable, totally out of this world. u HAVE to experience it once in a lifetime. during football seasons, the rivalry is stronger than usual. the USC students would tie a string to their backpacks and drag the UCLA mascott, which is the Bruins Bear on the floor. then the UCLA students would retaliate and wrap the USC Trojan statue in toilet paper and throw paint at it. and apparently theres a restaurant in LA that is super good and famous which requires u to make a reservation 3 months in advance. and even so u still have to queue. all the celebrities like tom hanks and julia roberts go there. it's run by this guy called Wolfsgang Park or something like that, and the USC canteen is run by him!!! HOLY COW!!!!! i want to go USC DAMN BADLY!!!! :(((((((( he says it's kinda like a party school. but that's what i want!!! hey, after being in hc for so long, i deserve a break man.

i love LA. i really do. :D

2009-06-07T15:41:00.002+08:00

i swear after my alevels, i'm going to be so happy i'll cry. seriously. ok, this is assuming that i'm well prepared for the exams. yea. i won't even go out to celebrate. i will go straight home after my last paper, which is bio paper 1 on 4th december, on the aircon and curl up in bed and cry. joy and relief and freedom will be so mindblowing and overwhelming, i can't even describe it in words. i think it would be pretty close to tasting the forbidden fruit in the garden of eden. i can imagine the immense weight lifted from my shoulders and going through day after day with no care in the world like after olevels. oh gosh, the thought of it now just makes me smile. but guess what. from today, it is only 156 days to alevels. OMG IM SO FREAKED OUT I WANA SCREAM. after i finish this i'm gona go back to mugging my ass off. i don't how people survive J2!!! arggghhh!!!!!!!!!!! my future looks very bleak. :(

i love Jon and Kate plus 8. i know i've said this before, but it really makes u wana have kids. like seriously. i'm going to be a very cool mum. :) i'll be all hip and fun and all, and totally dispel all opportunities for my kids to say "my mum is boring." no way!!! i'm going to show my kids that it's cool to be me. ;P

2009-06-03T18:40:00.002+08:00

okokok, here's the shit. i never thought in a million years i'd say this, but i think NEW MOON IS GOING TO SUCK. yes, it hurts real bad to make a revelation like this, but from what i see from the trailer........OMG WE NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP. ok, you know what we have to do? we, have to start a PETITION, yes petition, for me to direct Eclipse.

if you've seen the new New Moon trailer, which you should have cos if you haven't you're slow cos a few hundred million people have seen it already, the emotions in the book are not portrayed in the film. for example, i SWEAR, rob and kristen hate each other. ok maybe they don't, but they sure do make it look like Edward and Bella hate each other!!!!!!! i know Edward is supposed to be moody and all, but i swear there are parts in the book where he's supposed to portray some happy emotion. but nope. nada. just that sad brooding face of his 24/7. and kristen. oh god oh god where do i start. i love her. i really do. i think she's the most gorgeous girl on earth, (yes, even more than megan fox. shocker!!!! but megan is a close second though) BUT SHE HAS TO SHOW EDWARD SOME LOVE MAN!!!!! i swear she looks more bored and irritated with him most of the time. C'MON GIRL!! use the EYES!! portray your love for him!!! the love of your life is leaving and you're standing there so calm and all!! k, i hope she acts more frantic at that part cos from what i see, she looks fine and dandy with him leaving.

i'm gona pray with all my heart that Taylor saves the show somehow. yes his new body rocks my world but i hope he captures the essence of how Jacob is supposed to be happy and fun, and then a drastic change. New Moon is about Jacob man!! if he doesn't grab this chance i'm gona slap myself.

seesh. ok. having said all this, i'm still going to watch it. hey, i'm a twilight fan, it's like, an UNWRITTEN rule i have to watch it even though it may not be up to my standards. i mean, when have storybook adaptations ever matched up to the book? just look at the Potter films. and if all else fails, there's still Taylor's hot new body to ogle over.

right. must now go write my petition to direct Eclipse.....Breaking Dawn......whatever......

2009-05-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

nadal is out of roland garros. i'm shocked beyond belief. i want to die.

it's ok. no matter what happens, i still love my baby.

2009-05-31T13:53:00.001+08:00

i am going to put a lock on my cd collection. i just realised that one of my dvds is missing. and one of my cds is missing too. i don't know if people stole it or im absentminded enough to leave it behind while moving, which i think it's highly unlikely cos i keep all my cds/dvds/vcds together. the thought of someone stealing it makes my blood boil. so since i have a very enviable collection, i'm gona install a lock on it to make sure they're safe and no one touches them but me. if i ever find someone who took them without permission, i'm gona cut off that person's dick. if you're female, i'm gona remove your uterus. without anasthesia. god, it drives me absolutely INSANE.

2009-05-30T23:37:00.002+08:00

i have officially graduated from interact club. i still have flashes of memories from last year. i was the first one to receive the interact badge (which i have no bothered to wear since :P) but you know, even though im not in the exco, there are still fond memories. waking up early on saturday to go to rda, meeting almost every wednesday...... ahhh...... cca really widens your social circle. so this is one of the times im glad i retained. if i had just continued on to yr 2 with no cca whatsoever, my cca portfolio would be in shambles. now i'm proud to say i received "the best interactor award." haha. no la, im not the only recipient, but it's still nice to be recognised. and also, if i didnt have a cca, the only people would be my classmates. so effectively i'll only know 25 people in school. quite sad rite. now i know 3 batches of people. my batch, one year younger, then 2 years younger. good times good times. makes warm and fuzzy feelings in my heart. :)

i went to watch "whose life is it" anyway yesterday with hwei ee. k, i can't really tell u how the play went, except that i think it's fantastic. if u wana know the plot, im sure its on wikipedia.

so after interact installation today, my friends came to my house. we watched 2 movies: little secrets and twilight. i seriously think the boys were quite bored, but oh well. i don't have anything better for them to do and girls are majority over th guys. i have lost count how many times i have watched twilight already. really. New Moon is coming out 20th november! i dont care if it's in the midst of my exams, I AM GOING TO WATCH IT. so there. have people seen the new posters? taylor has a body to die for and dakota fanning looks like a really good Jane! she looks really good on the poster too. movie of the year everyone! yea....so having watched 2 movies back to back, i officially pronounce today Movie Day. i just came back from chem tuition and i worked my brain sooooo hard i can actually FEEL it developing muscles. :S omg chem mcq is seriously tricky. you're so sure your answer is correct and then you get like, 5 wrong in a row. scary man. imagine this is your actual alevel paper. SOOOOO SCARY AHHH!!!!! i actually planned to watch "Prince Caspian" after tuition, but it's almost midnight and if i watch it'll finish at like almost 2am. and i AM tired. i think i'll go to bed. my sweet, comfy bed! :D

OH THANK YOU LORD FOR THE HOLIDAYS!! I know it's not gona be a bed of roses cos i've gota study really hard, but i don't have to wake up at 5.40am. i wake up at like, 7am. yes, it's still late, but you gota spend 24-7=17 hours a day studying man. i'll go work a rough timetable out and i'll show you guys how 'meng' it's gona be.

and what on earth is wrong with my tagboard???!!! i didn't change anything besides the dimensions!

2009-05-28T22:34:00.002+08:00

i don't check my email for one day and i've like, 13 messages in my inbox. jesus.....

it's the 2nd last day of school for the term, thank god. and tmr is the last day. my friends are coming back to visit me and i'm gona to watch a play! im quite looking forward to it. i must say that my 2 hellish bio tutorial sessions this last week has gone surpisingly smoothly! im so glad! usually my teacher would spring some godforsaken question on me i have no idea how to answer, and embarrass me in front of the whole class. then i would start plotting evil ways to ruin his career. :P:P:P ahahaahahahaha!!! but he didn't bother me this time so im just glad that the term ends well. :D

my handphone bill is going up, up, up and away!!! mum is gona kill me. seriously. i need a plan that allows me unlimited smses or smth. i had to msg like almost 20 people to tell them that their shoes that me and my friends designed for them for charity were ready of collection. gosh. i kept forwarding the same message and i swear i could feel the 5 cent coins flying out of my pocket everytime i hit the 'send' button.

i feel like i have more to say but im feeling really tired and sleepy now. so till tmr folks!

2009-05-24T22:43:00.001+08:00

let me tell you how exciting my day was.

i'm going to bathe for the third time today.

weather's too damn fucking hot.

as expected, i didn't do any work over the weekend.

2009-05-23T11:15:00.002+08:00

i slept for 13 hours straight last night.

yes, i was so tired. i was working nonstop for like, 5 to 6 hours non stop in school, and when i got home it was almost 7. went to bathe, played a bit of guitar, and then brushed my teeth before i totally crashed by 8pm. i didn't even eat dinner. and i woke up at about 9.15am this morning and didn't even feel hungry. weird.

yea. oh yes. Hwei Ee wrote a book! yes, a published book with a spine and cover and all! it's called 'the hwei construct'. the class supported him by buying his book for 10 dollars each, and he wrote me an interesting note in the front of my copy. this is inspired me to write another song, my second after "Posterboy".

well, my days are uneventful as usual, so there's nothing much to talk about. i'm going for dance night, or should i say, dance afternoon, with yi hui at school later. then i have chem tuition at night. :( looks like another day is wasted without me studying. shit.

2009-05-13T22:04:00.002+08:00

OK! THAT'S IT MAN! I'M MOVING THIS COMPUTER OUT OF MY ROOM TMR OR SOMETHING. IT'S WAY TOO DISTRACTING AND I SPEND MORE TIME THAN I'M SUPPOSED TO ON IT. IF I CARRY ON LIKE THIS I'M GONA GET STRAIGHT 'U's FOR ALEVELS, WHICH ARE ONLY 6 MONTHS AWAY.

i'll call today "catch-up" day.

i had a 1.5hr break in school today and my dear naomi came over to visit!!! wow i missed u sooooo much naomi!!! we had a blast talking and laughing. grace says you should come over more often naomi. we were still laughing during math lecture. :P and she said i LOOK like a doctor. thanks baby u made my day. :D

and after school, i rushed home to bathe and change so i could meet ethel hoon at 4. i haven't seen her since....2007. so it's a looooong time since. then she msged me to meet at 4.30pm instead, but she only arrived at wheelock at 4.50pm. -_-''' nvm. we headed to nydc and talked for over an hour before she had to leave to meet her other friend, who is also from cresent. she calls today "Crescent day" and how she's meeting up with 3 old friends before she leaves for Cornell. -_-''' yes, my ethel hoon is a very smart girl. so many things have changed, so many people are overseas doing different things. it's interesting and exciting. Cornell sounds like heaven. she's doing hotel management and there's like a hotel ON CAMPUS which is run entirely by students. and there's courses like wine tasting, culinery arts etc. and they have their own dairy where students make their own ice cream flavors. and she's most excited about wearing winter clothes. ahahaah!! im so envious. :P

2009-05-10T17:44:00.002+08:00

today is mother's day. so HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MUMS IN THE WORLD!!! :D

i ordered a chocolate ice cream cake from Swensens' for mum. i did the ordering last monday, and dad went to pay and pick it up this morning. cos he gets a 15% off by paying with credit card. soo... yea. and i just finished playing "the best day" for mum as her mother's day song. if u wana hear it you can visit my youtube channel. :D

nothing much to say today. i normally spend my Sundays indoors. sis was extra clumsy today. she knocked a cup of tea over me and then broke a cup. -_-'''

yep. cya folks!

2009-05-09T15:06:00.002+08:00

OLD BLOGSKIN!!!! ahahaaha!!! i can't say it's new because i've used it before when i was crescent. and i'm getting sick of my pink one. and somehow, i just kept thinking of this one. so i attempted to find it on blogskins and they still had it! :D yay!

I WANNA TALK ABOUT PERSONAL SPACE.

i was on the bus, i think a week or 2 ago, and it was pretty empty. it was bus 132, double decker, with two rows of blue seats facing each other with an isle in the middle? yeah. like i said, there were plenty of seats, and then this malay lady boarded. there was an empty seat on my right between me and another girl, and she squeezed herself in between us!! i was like, "erm, hello? there are like a bajillion seats on this bus. MUST u squeeze in here?" nvm. this isn't the worst. another genius came up, a chinese lady, and she sat right next to me on the left! I WAS SO FUCKING PISSED I WANTED TO SCREAM!!!! hello people! don't sit close to me!! WHY WHY WHY OF ALL THE SEATS AVAILABLE, YOU MUST PICK ONE THAT SANDWICHES ME AND INVADES MY PERSONAL RADIUS OF SPACE??? really! are these people blind? or stupid? or do they like to squeeze so much that even though there is so much space, they have to huddle together?? argh! pisses me off! if they like squeezing so much, they belong in a tuna can or smth. god....

next incident. i was at the clinic cos of my sore throat, then this indonesian maid came out of the room. i was sitting on the cushioned bench near the edge, i think on my right there was just enough for one person to sit, then on my left, there must have been 2-3 metres of empty bench. and when she turned to sit down, i'll give u a lucky guess where our einstein sat. YES ON MY RIGHT!!! LIKE OMG MUST U SQUEEZE WITH ME???!!!! WHY WHY WHY MUST U SIT SO CLOSE UNTIL WE'RE ALMOST TOUCHING WHEN THERE'S SO MUCH SPACE ON MY LEFT, ENOUGH FOR U TO LIE DOWN EVEN IF U WANTED TO? then she stood up again to go do god knows what, and i shifted further to my right to make sure no one sits that close to me again. i moved enough so there was only enough space for like, half a butt on my right. then the maid came back, and guess what, YES OMG KILL ME SHE STILL SAT ON MY RIGHT! i thought i would lose my mind there and then. it's madness i tell u. pure insanity. i really wonder if some people are born without intelligence. i gave up cos i couldn't take it anymore, and moved to the left. god. i hate it when strangers touch me. UGH!!!

then yesterday at classbench, i was having break. it was sleeping cos i accidentally took my drowsy medicine before going to school and was thus feeling extremely woozy. halfway during my deep sleep, i have no idea why it became so noisy all of a sudden, and then since i was the only one at the bench, some random people came over to sit next to me and started talking damn loudly. and hitting the table. and you know, since my ear is pretty close to the table, every hit resonates like, a thousand times. and that woke me up from my sleep and put me in an extremely foul mood. so foul that if i was Wolverine, all the people around me would be annihilated in 10 seconds. anyone who knows me well enough knows how important my precious sleep is to me. you wake me without any good reason, YOU DIE. like my lovely bio teacher. prodded me away before assembly, which is my MOST IMPORTANT sleeping period, just to ask me for my bio log book. WHEN I WAS SEEING HIM LATER IN CLASS!! FUCK HIM MAN. who gives a shit about your stupid policies and rules. in every school i go to, i really want to strangle one teacher. and for this school, it's HIM. you notice i can't name any names here, cos it's called CYBERBULLYING. bah!! let me tell you, the REAL bullying is going on RIGHT IN SCHOOLS, where students are being emotionally abused by asshole teachers who are jealous of us because they know we're gona grow up and be successful etc while they're stuck in their miserable staffroom.

whew! that was one long rant! i think i must be pretty amusing for yingx and naomi. cos u 2 can imagine me complaining verbally to u with all my exasperated expressions an have a good laugh. i was giggling myself while typing all this. ahaha!!

yep.. thats all for me today. toodles!! :)

2009-05-06T21:17:00.002+08:00

i wonder how it feels like to have a half-sibling. it's sooo....foreign. i don't know how to say it. i wonder if i'd be insanely jealous. i think i would. i just read an article on princess charlotte of monaco, and how she has a half sister from her mother's latest marriage. i mean..... whoa. i really don't know what to say. like, for your whole life u just have ure parents to ureself and ure siblings, and then all of a sudden ure mum goes off and sleeps with some guy and there you go! a new addition to the family!

i think it's so exciting to be royal. sure u have the papparazzi all around you, but you'd be rich enough to live in all your cool, big mansions in exotic places around the world. and you have cool ancesters who actually once had the power to say "Guards! Off with his head!" hahahaa!!! and you have gowns, tiaras, crowns, jewellery, and OMG THE TITLE!!! HRH aka his/her royal highness princess/prince of blahblahblah. how wicked is that! and cos you stick all your ancester's names in your name, your full names gets uber long and u can confuse everybody. also, if you don't like your first name, you have like 20 middle names to choose from anyway.

yingx. i know i owe you an email, but i have such a bad sore throat it just puts me off from doing anything. but don't fear dear girl, you will get it soon enough!

OMG WHY WHY WHY ISN'T THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE SHOWING IN SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!!!! :(:(:(

2009-04-29T19:43:00.002+08:00

mrs field's cookies aren't as good as they used to be. :(

my. it has been 2 weeks since i've blogged. i wanted to talk about my day on monday but i was too tried to write it down here then. so i'll do it now.

so, the whole day started with me and sis waking up late for school. my mum got pissed, like, really god damn pissed, and screamed at us and told us to take the bus to school ourselves. i think monday traffic is more crowded than usual, and whatsmore, assembly is earlier bcos we have combined assembly. so by the time we got to school, we were late, so we decided to hang around outside school until everyone was released back to class. so we sat outside the row of shophouses beside SPC to wait. i was also having cramps today, and since there my form teacher was def gona mark me as late, i thought, to hell with it. i'm skipping school today and getting an mc. so my sis went off to class, cos her teacher is really cool about the whole attendance thing while mine isn't, and i took the bus down to my good friend miao qun's place, which is just a couple of bus stops down the road. i called her at 7.50am and she was still sleeping, so i called again at 8.30am and told her i was at the bus stop outside her house. and of course, she was shocked. :P so we ended up spending the day together. i stayed at her place to watch tv while she went to the dentist and she bought back cheesecake and muffins for me. :D i tell you, she's the best host ever. :D really awesome. then we went to watch "17 again". cos her bf refused to watch it with her and i hadn't seen it yet. you know, i never swooned over zac efron when he was in all the HSM movies, but he looked REALLY GOOD in 17 again. like, WHOA. and he really is a fantastic actor. really not the kind who is all looks but no skill. his acting is really....natural.

2009-04-14T21:55:00.002+08:00

it's me against the world. i think i actually understand how chris brown feels right now.

i want to die.

2009-04-13T22:10:00.003+08:00

today wasn't a good day. :( sigh! just yesterday, i told sis that i was worried about how i'm tearing my hair out over my lousy resume. and today, i was pulled out of OCIP batam cos of my lousy bt results. i sacrificed so much for that trip you know!!!!! i know their intentions are good, but once i think about what i had to give up and lost out in the process, i feel it's SO UNFAIR. sets my blood boiling. i'm gona talk to mr k tmr to work something out. they say they want me to get my good grades and without it, even if my resume is fantastic, i won't get into a good uni. yes, good point. but then if i do get good grades, which like, millions of people do, (just look at rj last year), what sets you apart? THE RESUME GOD DAMN IT! maybe not so for singapore U, but i seriously don't see myself going to NUS. not that i'm not applying, i think there won't be enough places. and unlike our over-emphasis-on-grades education system, unis in the west don't think that way. they WANT to see what you've done besides study. so great. i'm royally screwed.

to date, i have 4 of what i like to call my "feel good songs". they make me feel refreshed, renewed, and that i can tackle anything in the world. and very nostalgic. don't ask me why. especially when i listen to them at night in bed before i go to sleep. they are:-
1. teardrops on my guitar
2. cry
3. the climb
4. caught up in you

today, i think i need to listen to all 4 of them. on heavy rotation.

naomi hasn't been tagging. whats up with you girl??

2009-04-10T19:25:00.002+08:00

fine fine. i'll blog. it's not that i don't like blogging. i do. kinda. sometimes it can be therapeutic. but most of the time i'm just soooo lazy lah!! but since i talked to yingx this afternoon and she asked me to blog, i guess i'll just do it then.

i've been sick the past 2 days. the flu bug caught me and i missed 2 days of school. :( ugh. i can only imagine the amount of work i have to catch up on. i can't remember the last time i missed school because i was sick. yes, i haven't been sick for a long, loooong time.

well. i am officially in love with taylor lautner. yes, i think even more than rob pattinson. :P don't ask me how it happened. i am ashamed of myself for lusting after a younger guy. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT!!! when i see him smile....... my heart just beats faster and i feel myself melting!!! i watch the same 5 mins of twilight over and over again just for the taylor parts. :P naomi, if we ever go to watch "New Moon" together later this year, you'd better not sit next to me. cos i'll be so excited everytime taylor is on screen that i would beat you silly. rmb how i would whack you everytime he came on in twilight? well, New Moon is jacob's show, so you'll be bruised black and blue. :P he's in a music video, and he kisses this girl, and i officially go crazy with jealously. you would think that being 19, i would have a clearer head on my shoulders and not be so immature right? well, no. apparently not happening to me. :P seriously, his smile is soooooo beautiful...... words can't describe. ok i better stop. i can feel my heart racing a mile a minute.

naomi i miss u!! i miss all our crazy sessions! come visit me sometime in school! :D and yingx, i'll see u in july! :D

2009-04-02T18:09:00.003+08:00

wow. i've been absent for only a week?? seems way longer than that.

anyway, i've been browsing through facebook photos, and i realise how much i actually miss 07S72. i do, i really do. they're like the best class ever. everyone is different, so dynamic, and i don't know how to say it. we just fit! i miss the times when we all go to the canteen and eat together and we'll be laughing like crazy, and then the singers, mainly me, jac, naomi, mingte would get together and we'll strum guitar and sing. then kaiyi, zakiyah and i would talk about boys. and when i need a hug, i'll always have bon. sigh. now..... they're gone. graduated. and i miss them all so, SO much it hurts. i know i've gained alot from where i am now, but i know if i can, i'll want to turn back the clock and do jc1 2007 all over again. so there won't be this invisible barrier that seperates us. they have one whole year together without me. one year of fun, laughter, jokes, tears, dynamics, memories....... things that i'll never ever get to experience again. and somehow, i wish so bad i could be a part of it.

i really need to start packing my table.

2009-03-25T21:51:00.002+08:00

i think growing up is a very exciting and interesting process. besides the aging process; that's just not cool. what i like about it is when people grow up and change, and we each go on our individual life journeys. for me, i'm just overwhelmed by where my friends are now. who would have guessed that the cheeky, naughty boy from kindergarten would someday make it to oxford? and then there's the smallest girl in my p6 class. i can still remember her telling me clearly that she was aiming to go to nygh after PSLE. and yes, i see her small frame so vividly in my mind. well, she's not that small anymore; almost my height and on her way to LSE. and then my lil bro, whom we all affectionately know as weishi. :) i recall we went to genting together for our NYPSCO competition. we and my sister played in the hotel room while our mothers were down in the casino gambling. he was all small and innocent looking, with a really cute voice i'd never forget. now, that voice is no longer sweet, but deeper. he towers over me. and he topped hc and is probably going to do medicine. who would have guessed. to me they were just my friends, my classmates. now we are on the brink of adulthood. go on to facebook and you see universities as people's networks. i always thought uni was a distant dream, now it's lingering at my doorstep. before i know it, we would graduate, and out into the corporate world we go. i wonder what it would be like when i meet or recognise my friends on the street 6,7 years from now. who would be married? have kids?? oh my........ it's a strange thought; thinking of your primary school friends being pregnant or becoming dads.....*shudders* cos in my mind, they would always be that little boy/girl. and when their kids are naughty, i wonder if they would see how naughty they were too when they were young, and see themselves in their children. sigh! time passes too fast. i don't think i'm ready to grow up yet.

and to spoil my mood, respiration and hydroxy tutorials are due tmr. WHAT ARE THE TEACHERS CRAZY??!!! blocks just ended!!!! at least give us a week to do it! seesh!!!!

2009-03-22T15:33:00.002+08:00

my parents really know how to ruin my dreams. i was supposed to go for auditions for Project UP today, a performing arts group, but i didnt go bcos they were unhappy. no, actually i didn't go cos i have exams tmr. if i didn't i would totally just heck care them and go man. then of cos, my dad took it upon himself to nag me and give me a lecture on how studies are important, LIKE HE HAS BEEN DOING EVER SINCE I STARTED PRIMARY SCHOOL. he said i didn't even win talentime and i should just give up singing and treat it as a hobby, and not a career. the thing i hate about my parents, is that they don't LISTEN. they clean their ears everyday but i don't think there's any differnece. they might as well have earwax as ears. when on earth did i ever say i want to have a career in singing?! do they think i'm that naive?! of cos i DON'T want a career in singing!!! i KNOW i'm not good enough! geez!! how big do you think my ego is? i merely say i want to go audition and they equate it to making singing my career. god. i don't know whether they're stupid or dumb.

and the worst thing about my dad's nagging is, he likes to show off. yes, show off. he likes to show me that he knows the names of britney spears and lindsay lohan. and the worst thing, he doesn't even pronounce their names RIGHT!!!! ugh!! everytime i hear it i feel a huge twinge of irritation. like, DON'T come and show off to me you know all these celebrities when I am the one who is Queen of Gossip. i'm not proud of it, but you get my point. i bet he doesn't know who natasha richardson or chris brown is until they came into the news recently. arrgghh. pissed off man. this is NOT how u treat a birthday girl man. and they didn't even wish me happy birthday. neither did lou. i'm pretty sure she forgot. and for that, i'm 'breaking up' with her.

in the new paper today, there's this article about "singapore's edison chen". i seriously have not come across a more RETARDED HUMAN BEING. and then there's news about sex tapes, and "sexting", this new thing which is people sending to their gf/bf racy photos of themselves and then when they break up, their ex spreads it around. and a girl hung herself bcos her ex-bf sent her photos to the entire school. these people are the epitome of stupid. i mean, MUST u film ureself having sex or naked?!! MUST, MUST YOU???!!! u mean ure only going to have sex once in ure life so u must record it and watch it over and over again?? and if u really want to see yourself nude, for goodness sake just strip and stand in front of the mirror. u can stare as long as you like. seriously man. i don't know where these people get their brains from. DIDN'T PARIS HILTON TEACH YOU ANYTHING?!! and if u have casual sex, u risk getting filmed or contracting STDs. people are really so dumb that they don't know all these?? seesh?? if you really have to do it, masturbation was invented for a reason man!!!! god.....

what a nice birthday this has been. sometimes i just want to run away and never come back.

2009-03-22T00:25:00.001+08:00

birthday to me.

WHAT THE HELL I'M 19 ALREADY??!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! EDWARD CULLEN BITE ME NOW!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-21T22:49:00.002+08:00

i'll be turning 19 in about an hour's time. i've not been looking forward to my birthday this year. no anticipation, no joy, no bated breath, nothing. nada. zilch. i feel old. :((((( i think i'll just kill myself this time next year so i'll stay 19 forever and i don't have to turn 20. bloody hell. being 20 years old...... the mere thought of it is frightening!!!!!

one perk of the day: I GOT MY TWILIGHT DVD!!!! YEAH MANNN!!!!!! haha. i know yingx is gona be real happy when she reads this, but i think the more i look at rob pattinson, the less handsome i think he is. :P:P:P don't get me wrong, he IS gorgeous!! i think if i meet him in person i'd just swoon and faint, but hmmm..... yea..... not AS attracted as i once was i guess. on the other hand however, i love taylor lautner. XDXDXD i kep rewatching the scenes he was in over and over again, and you know since jacob isn't significant in Twilight, i kept rewatching the same 5 minutes of so. ahaahahaha!!!! OMG I CAN'T WAIT FOR NEW MOON TO COME OUT TO OGLE AT TAYLOR'S 6 PECS. :P taylor will be the next big thing, watch my words!! rob would have to take a hike for while until Eclipse.

i will be back in an hour or so to officially wish myself happy birthday. no wait. it's a not a 'happy' birthday. so it's just birthday.

2009-03-19T11:51:00.003+08:00

Natasha Richardson has passed away due to a head injury from a ski accident. if you don't know who she is, i scoff at u and say she was in Parent Trap, and more recently, Wild Child.

next, is it confirmed that dakota fanning will be playing Jane in New Moon. and i can't wait to see taylor lautner's new hot body!!!!!! i know i really, REALLY shouldn't be lusting over younger guys like this, but i really can't help myself. :P filming has started on 10 March 2009 and will end in mid-May. Scheduled release is November 20th. why do i have the awful feeling it will be smack in the middle of my Alevels???!!! :((( god damn it.

and yingx. rob pattinson IS masculine!! gosh! ever seen cheekbones like his before??? ahaahahaha!!!!! :P:P:P

2009-03-18T19:12:00.002+08:00

my mortal, being one of those "cheenah" people, or at least i assume that, says that she's a big fan of DBSK. (don't scream Naomi) and of cos, me, being my usual sarcastic self, was scoffing at it when i read it in the letter. well, i can't help it if i prefer hollywood. so, in order to pass a fair judgement, i shouldn't pass comments before i see/hear/watch their music and videos right? so i went onto you tube to check it out, and i couldn't even finish watching one full video. i'm sorry it was just too bad. my mortal says they're not only relying on good looks, but they can sing and dance too etc. basically very talented. -_-''' i honestly do not know what to say to that. no wait. i know EXACTLY what to say. but i shan't say it here cos i know it'll break naomi's heart and i love her :)

can someone tell me what on earth is REMOTELY attractive about them? i couldn't find any nice songs, their dancing is...... well it's dancing. all the korean artistes' dance moves are about the same anyway. and their LOOKS??!!! boy oh boy where do i start??? they all look so feminine!! with their long hair, long fringes etc. uggghhh.... i like my men to be masculine looking. i wonder whether they feel sissy when they have to dress up so elaborately.

yep. that's all from me today. till tmr. :)

2009-03-15T18:18:00.000+08:00

hey guys! the first post is below. just wanted to say i uploaded 2 more videos. :D enter lphua76 into youtube and u should find them quite easily. enjoy! :)

2009-03-15T15:47:00.004+08:00

hey guys!!! i didn't blog after i came home last night cos i wanted to do it properly. last night i was too tired and emotionally drained to do anything else except make use of my bed. :P

right. last night was talentime night!!! it's really weird how time goes by so fast. just yesterday at this time i was practising my song like crazy and shaking with fear. and now it's over. so i didn't win. i'll be lying if i said i wasn't disappointed. cos if i'm good enough to get to the finals, it means that the judges think i have a shot at winning right? well, i gave it my best shot anyway, and i really did try very hard. i have no regrets. and even though it wasn't enough....ahhh well..... this failure won't get me down. i've been through bigger failures than this. i just feel like i've let my parents and friends down a little. hmmm.......

so let me recount my day leading up to my time on stage! and also give u a sneak peek into what was going on inside my head. :P i woke up at 10.30am, cos i was too tired to obey mu alarm clock. so i missed my yoga session. :( nvm. went to the salon at 11.45am to get my hair washed ans straightened and had lunch. they told us to be in school by 1pm but i reached at 1.40pm, and they hadn't started rehearsals yet!!! luckily i wasn't on time man. i would be bored out of my mind. so rehearsals finally started and we watched the band and vocal groups perform, and then i had to go change cos people were really bugging me to change. i wanted to put off wearing my costume till as late as possible. :P finally it was my turn and i did my stuff before going t my vocal teacher's house across the road at 5pm. did some warming up and singing for 45mins or so, then headed back down to school for xiaochun to do my makeup at 6pm. she must have spent an hour or so doing my makeup cos by the time i was done i was receiving phone calls and people were starting to get seated.

when u dread something, time seems to pass extra fast. all the group and band performances seemed to fly by, and as much as i wanted to stand in the wings and watch them, i knew i had to listen to my song for the last few times i could. and i got loads of encouraging smses, especially from jiachen who said i chose a song that jiawei really liked! so even more pressure!! :P then it was intermission, and i really started shaking cos i was the 2nd singer after the break. i tell u, it was the shortest 20 mins of my life. there was a dance number, then waiyee went up. i was on standby in the wings, i had to sit down and close my eyes and breathe. then i started singing to myself. i think i must have looked really weird to the ava people, but when you're gona put yourself out there in front of a huge crowd, you really don't give a shit. I told Preston not to watch and stay in the basement but he of cos went against my orders and watched me anyway. :P finally wai yee ended, the emcees talked crap, and it was my turn. and you know what, seconds before i was due on stage, I FREAKING FORGOT MY FIRST LINE!!!!!! i was like, HOLY FUCK!!! and i literally wanted to ask the ava people, "what's the lyrics? what's my first line?" but of cos i didn't cos that would be retarded. how on earth would they know?? my head was swimming with words and thank god it finally came to me. people were chattering behind me wishing me good luck, but i didn't care and my ears weren't working properly. then the music played and i was on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i walked out as i sung, and before i reached the centre of the stage i stopped a few times, cos my legs were shaking so bad. and strangely enough, when i reached the centre, all my fears just melted away. i was freer on stage than i have ever been. and also i told myself that i didn't want to walk off after the song knowing that i didn't do my best. so the song proceeded quite smoothly. the audience cheered after the first chorus so that was very encouraging. and then came the tricky part where the song changed key and i went out of tune. -_-''' damn it i think that cost me my trophy. i saw the audience's faces and i was like "oh fuck." but nvm. it went on, i went back into key, and then came my big belt that lasted for 12 counts. and when the cheering started i was supposed to get louder. according to my teacher at least. i hope i did get louder. but anyway. the song was over, the emcees came out, and i sang the chorus of Shayne Ward's "That's my goal" for my supporters, got the judges comments, (Keely Wee said i have a sweet voice and i'm cute. -_-''') i have no idea how to comment on that. thanks i guess?? the lights came on and holy cow the auditorium WAS full!!!! all the way to back no less. and then i was bouncing off stage and i was done!!!!!! everyone congratulaed me back stage, yang lu seemed extra excited, bless her, :) and i tell u, it's the best feeling in the world. i can't describe it. it goes beyond words. i was hugging and blowing kisses to everyone, and people were saying good job, well done. i revel in adrenaline rushes. :D

very soon it was prize presentation, and ahhh well, like i said, i didn't win. i was really shocked when felisa got 1st runner up though. i thought she would win! anyway, it went to Yan Ming, some china guy. but he's good la. i'll give him that. and Mrs Chin specially came over to shake my hand and hug me. :D we've got some ahh..... history you see. first my retaining, then the infamous tshirt project...... so yea..... we're acquainted. haha!! she said she didn't know i could sing so well!! i was really touched man. then the mingling came and i got flowers from my friends, and my banner which is SO NAOMI. :P:P:P zakiyah said she couldn't find nice flowers so she got me cake and chocolate. :D so here's a picture of my well-wishes from friends.

PEI HUA FEELS VERY LOVED!!!!! :D:D:D

right. so here are some personal thank yous:

Louisa: for telling me and encouraging me to do this in the first place. if not for you, i wouldn't even have taken the first step to hand in the form. and of cos for being the most supportive, (and biased and forgetful) best friend ever. :P

My parents: for being my biggests fans and for giving me my voice. I think i inherited my tone from my dad.

YINGXY: for being my rock though you're halfway round the world. i know that if she was here , she'd be picking all those winners apart on my behalf in her indignant tone. :P i love u babe. :D

Naomi, Shiyun, Jacq, Felicia, Anita, Shing: THANK YOU GUYS FOR COMING DOWN!!!!!! and thanks for the banner!!! extra thanks to naomi and shiyun for rallying support for me and of cos, giving encouragements every step along the way. Couldn't have done it without you!!!! :D

08S72: to those who couldn't come down, i still appreciate your well wishes!! eliz told me that the stage is my world that no one can touch. :D jiamin for trying to get the class to go, (though quite unsuccessfully) and jiawei!!! who has been there all the time when i needed cheering up. and of cos gabe who i miss dearly.

Zakiyah: sweetie pie. i think she and jeremy got quite pissed off at each other, but i thank her for her support.

Miaoqun: my ever crazy friend. she always wishes me good morning in her morning smses and tells me to smile. :)

yep. i think that's about it!! i think this experience has cemented my love-hate relationship with the limelight. as much as i shiver and shake and dread the moment i'm due to go on, i love it up there. somehow. haha!!! but this thing's for sure: you haven't seen the last of me. :D

ohhhh!!!! the best thing about the night was when i was outside the audi and these 2 girls, bella and limin or lingmin came up to me to tell me that they liked my voice cos it was very soothing. i was soooooooo touched an flattered!!!! i think it's the biggest reward for a stranger to come up and tell u stuff like this, cos u know they really mean it. it really is better than any trophy in the world. :D:D:D

one last BIG THANK YOU, HUG AND KISS to all my supporters and friends!!! i wouldn't have been able to do this without any of you!!!! i really feel that "ANGELS BROUGHT ME HERE" to you. :D

2009-03-14T00:07:00.003+08:00

well, tmr is the big day. :D i'm just gona do my best and let nature take it's course. fingers crossed!! its absolutely ridiculous how much effort and time i take to practise when i only get 3 minutes on stage man!!! and i've been practising my song for like a week and i'm already sick of it. can't imagine those professional singers. :P poor things.

i had a long day today. firstly i woke up at 10.30am; my mum didn't barge into my room to wake me much to my surprise. i actually did set my alarm to wake up earlier, but i guess i was simply just too tired. then i HAD to wake up cos i had vocal training at noon. finished training at about 1.30pm, then i went for yoga at 2.30pm. and after showering and all, i reached town at about 5pm to shop for my outfit tmr. so i hope you guys like my clothes! :P by the time we were done, it was already 6.45pm. so mum and i made a mad dash from town to junction 8 to catch "slumdog millionaire" at 7.15pm. you should have seen mum and i driving man. i'm luckily i took after her good driving skills. :D and i really must comment about the movie. hmm..... it's scary. not in the horror-ghost way, but scary the way children are being bullied and we get to see the tough life people live in poor countries. i think death is preferable. like they showed that children and being conned by these bad men into being beggars, and they are blinded on purpose so that they can get more pity and earn more money. the literally knock the poor boy out and use some hot metal thing to burn his eye out. it was disgusting omg. and you know what the worst thing is? this stuff actually happens. and worse. i don't even want to think about the girls. it really breaks my heart, and the worst thing is i don't have the power to stop it. so i've decided, that when i grow up, i'm gona adopt a kid from those third world country. doesn't matter if i'm married or single. when i feel the time is right, i'll just go ahead and do it. and if my husband/boyfriend isn't man enough to accept it, then he doesn't deserve me.

for the benefit of those living under a rock, "slumdog millionaire" won 8 oscars, including best movie. errrrr......... i think i must not know the judging criteria, but i don't think it was that great to win the "best picture" award. i mean, it was up against frost/nixon?? milk?? the reader??? and this wins??? ok, so i haven't seen the rest..... but hmmm....... i'm not saying it's a bad show. it really is pretty good!!!!! very humbling and all...... but nvm..... it's just my 2 cents worth. OMG THE LEAD GUY IS SO CUTE LAHHHH!!!!! and he's my age!! :P i never thought much about indian guys, but i think he's really goodlooking!! and the girl..... WHOA LAO EHHH SHE'S SOOOOOOO PRETTY MAN!!!!!! don't say guys, i see her smile i also want to melt. :P and i think they're really good together! got loads of chemistry and all. pity she's 6 years older. but she doesn't look it man! and she's got a fiance. sooo.... yea.... but really damn hot omg.....

right! i think i better go suck on a strepsil or something. and rest early and rest my voice. i'm keeping my fingers crossed!!! :D

2009-03-10T19:24:00.002+08:00

wow!! today is such a monumentous day!!!

firstly, THIS IS MY 400TH POST!!!!!!! YAY!!! EVERYBODY POP CHAMPAGNE AND YAM SENG!!! HERE'S TO THE NEXT 400!! :D :D :D i still remember i started this blog 3 years ago after prelims for olevels i think. ok, not very sure, but it's definitely during sec 4. my my have i come a long way. :)

secondly, i am wearing contact lenses while typing this post!! ahahah!! this is another achievement to remember too! i have passing my driving test, and now this! next time when i'm old i can tell my grandkids, "you know ahh..... nainai wore contact lenses once etc etc." of cos they'll prob think i'm siao or going senile or something. :P but you know, it's another life experience! but honestly, i don't think it's very comfortable. it's like there's constantly something in my eye, and i can't open my eyes to the max. which is bad cos i portray a lot of emotions through my eyes. lots and lots of people have been telling me i look better without glasses and i should wear contacts to show off my big eyes. so there! i've tried it, and i don't like it. so it's back to good old spectacles for me!

but i was actually very nervous about putting the lenses on. when the guy put it on for me, i was like "don't poke my eyeball!!" of cos i didn't say it out loud, but i was screaming it in my head, and my heart was beating very fast. then the lens touched my eye, a bit of discomfort and then there was this irritating thing in my eye. and i was like, geez, i thought this was supposed to be comfortable. i think i took pretty long to be comfortable with this, and i thought, i don't care how ugly i look with glasses, i'm never wearing these things again!! but then to motivate myself, i thought of how rob pattinson has to hear those ocher contact lenses for months and months just to play our beloved edward cullen. so bcos he can, i can too!! :D actually not just him la. kristen stewart had to wear brown contacts cos her eyes are green. and the rest of the cullens too.

one last thing. i don't want to sing on saturday anymore. i sound like fucking shit. and its not that i have a sore throat. i don't!! and that's why it's even more infuriating cos i don't know what's wrong!!!!! i sound awful. it's always like this. i sound really good when i start singing a new song, and as i sing it more and more, it gets worse and worse. people say maybe i'm trying to analyse the song more subconsciously, or my voice i adjusting to it more blah blah, but whatever. the bottom line is i sound like crap and i'm gona make a fool of myself on saturday. so if you're reading this and you're going to talentime, PLEASE DON'T GO ANYMORE!!! i don't want to lose face in front of you. i'm gona sound so bad, but you'll still clap for me and people will think ure siao. or i'm just getting sympathy applause. and just to make things clear, i'm not saying this to sound diva-ish or something. like, i've never be the kind who says she will fail the exams and then come back with an A. when i say i suck, I REALLY DO SUCK. god, please give me back my voice by saturday. :(

gp tmr. but who cares? i'm just gona study for econs, which is on thursday.

oh btw, i have one follower for my blog. very flattering thank you, but who are you fantasygirl? naomi is it you????

2009-03-06T23:08:00.002+08:00

i'm exhausted. i can't believe i'm here typing this and not going straight to bed. i suppose all this fatigue is due to many late nights and today's long talentime rehearsal. and also alot of emotional stress. :P btw, jon soh does a wacky mainland chinese accent. laugh until my sides hurt man. :P

so today was A LEVEL RESULTS DAY!!!!!! the air was thick with anticipation and nerves. even know, the thought of the scenes that i've seen today gives me that suffocating feeling. and it's not even me getting the results!! i guess it just hits home more cos the people who are affected are actually people i know.

i don't think hc did that well. i don't know. of cos there's the usual imba people, but there seemed to be many people crying. hmmm...... cos they got 3 As instead of 4?? haha.... i think my all friends have done pretty well as a whole. and those who have not done well, ahhh.... what to say. just accept it and walk the path god makes for you. i did and i'm very happy now. :)

right. i think i may actually want to type more initially, but i'm really tired. i can't recall anything i want to say. perhaps i should do this tmr.

btw, THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR WATCHING THE YOUTUBE VIDEO!!! the last time i checked there were 23 views. erm, exactly how many times have you guys seen the video? i don't think i have told 23 people to go see it. -_-'''

2009-03-04T18:26:00.002+08:00

hey naomi. yea i read ure blog, and hmmm...... it's very well written. very insightful. i just supeficially read it through, but i think it deserves me taking some time and actually think deeply about it.

to shiyun, naomi and yingx, thank you once again for being there when i need someone. i know u must be all sick of hearing me say thank you, but i'm really trying to express all the gratitude i feel into those 2 words. so bear with me k?

i just finished my final vocal training with the vocal instructor, celine. and, WHO ON EARTH SAID THAT SINGING IS EASY??!! IT IS NOT EASY OK!!! IT'S DAMN FREAKING HARD!!!! she made me repeat and sing the song many times, and she was tough on me. though we were in an aircon room, i actually felt beads of sweat roll down my back. she says i need to switch registers more, have more FEEL, because the way i'm singing now is so monotone that everything sounds the same, and the judges will mark me down very much and basically, it means i'll lose like shit. and since the top prize is already going to that beyonce-like girl, yea, slim chance of winning anything man. so gota be more THEATRICAL, move more, and add more dynamics. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. trust me. it might seem straightforward, but it's NOT. it's freaking hard. now i really see how much effort and time people have to put in to look good for just 3 minutes on stage. omg i need to PRACTISE PRACTISE PRACTISE!!!!!! :((((((

i accidentally found out who my angel is. -_-''' i actually didn't want to find out until the actual day of revelation. i duno why people r so anxious to find out. wheres the fun in that?!! but i found out anyway. cos Preston, my junior, who is also in talentime, left his pencilbox at the vocal training school, and asked me to get it back for him. so i went through his pencilbox, (dude. who can resist the temptaion?? :P) and i saw my letter to my angel inside. so i guess that means, yep, he's my angel. -_-''' Preston of all people. no it's not bad. just unexpected.

lastly, i leave u all with this URL. go check it out. really. i GUARANTEE u won't regret it. :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95WushlIWD8

2009-03-03T20:38:00.002+08:00

i just really have to get this off my chest.

talentime is next saturday and my sister isn't going. she doesn't want to go. or even if she does go in the end, she's gona turn up very reluctantly. and that really hurts, because i thought sisters are supposed to be there to support each other. i mean, i thought it was understood. but nope, apparently not for her. i naturally assumed that it would be a shoo in that mum, dad and sis would go and support me. so you could guess the shock i got when she's not willing to go, citing 'a lot of stuff to do and cca coming up' blah blah. something to that extent. i know i may seem very petty here, but if my sister was performing or having a competition in anyway where supporters were allowed to turn up, i would be there in a heartbeat. like i said, i assumed it's understood that you support each other. i see jilly's sister turn up at her squash finals and ares night performance. expect my sis to do this for me? fat hope.

so i asked her if she's attending dramafeste. and she said yes. so i asked, she would rather watch dramafeste than support me? and she goes: "the entertainment value is higher at dramafeste is higher than at talentime." do you know how hurtful that is? she rather go support strangers, (relative to me) and her apollo than support me. and i'm sure she'll go for huangcheng to support her precious norreen. and she says she has no time for me cos she has to study etc. bullshit man. complain have no time but spends so much time on the computer doing god knows what everday. filthy hypocrite man.

and what hurts the most is that it takes my friends over my sister to support me. 6 people from 07S72 are coming to support me, lou is coming, mq is coming. she's even bringing her bf who offered to pay for the tix. (sure, he's trying to leave a good impression, but u get the point). and joyce even asked if i like roses cos she wants to buy. naomi wants to get front row seats so that she can film me and send to yingxy. and i'm sure if yingx is here she'll come watch me too. shame on my sister man. in fact, i'm ashamed to call her that. you know, from the bottom of my heart, if i had a million dollars, i would give some to my parents to pay off the house etc, and then i would use the balance to pay for BOTH my and pei rong's uni education. then save the rest. and if she, pei rong, was in the same situation, i bet she won't even give me a dime. she acts like she's such a big shot all the time in school, that all her friends tolerate her standoffish behavior, and that she's freaking SPECIAL, but actually she's just one self-absorbed bastard who only cares about herself. and her friends.

so even if she decides to go after all, grudgingly of cos bcos my parents force her to go, i still won't forgive her. cos i know that she actually doesn't want to be there. whoever said that blood is thicker than water? bullshit. i'm actually pretty sad to see that sometimes you can't even depend on family. only your parents. can't even count on your own siblings, for crying out loud!!! oh, maybe you can. just that mine is an exception. so i'm not going to do anything extra for her. sometimes i see mum is busy and i volunteer to go fetch her from school. or occasionally when she needs to go to the mrt station i have to fetch her too. sure, she's done some decent stuff for me too, but her actions have just eradicated all her good deeds. so as she says, dramafeste has higher entertainment value. and i say, our singapore public transport system is also very outstanding. don't expect to get anything extra from me next time. cos i'm sure your FRIENDS would be more than willing to help you. you don't need me.

2009-02-28T22:45:00.002+08:00

firstly, i must really say a huge thank you to yingx and naomi. you two gals have been so immensely helpful and supportive of me joining talentime, i can't tell you how much it means to me. you guys are the best. :)

to yingxy, as usual, you are my rock. no matter what i do, i can always count on you for support and love. i'm so glad i have you in my life. and thanks for asking bern!! darren managed to do it for me. and guess what, i'm not doing that song anymore. -_-''' the teacher didn't think it's good for me. but thanks!! i know how much u had to go through to ask him!!! love u babe. *muacks*

naomi, NO WE ARE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER, but i love u anyway!!!! :P:P:P erm, colbie caillat is not bad...... you want me to sing bubbly?? but i went for vocal training and the teacher adviced me not to play guitar. cos well.... it's complicated. you need to be really dynamic if you wana play an instrument. and she said that i have a very nice tone, so i need to choose a song that really shows that; a song that brings out the best quality in my voice.

so, the bottom line is i think i have more or less confirmed my song choice!! i'm getting tired of looking around and cracking my head over it. and my teacher said it's a good choice too, so i guess i'm sticking with it. i shall decline to name it here. like i said, if you wana know, go watch the finals!! if i say it both of u will rush onto youtube to hear it immediately. i wana build up the suspense. :P so that it will be a nice (hopefully) pleasant surprise on finals day. :D

2009-02-25T00:19:00.002+08:00

firstly, naomi you're a sweetheart. :D thanks so much dear. by the way, who is "all of us" coming to support me? :)

singing is really the only thing that keeps me sane in this crazy world. right. i got into a quarrel with my mum again this evening, and that was right before i was scheduled to go for vocal training at the singing school. and once i went into class, all my worries and sadness melted away. :)

ok. worries are still there. i currently have a HUGE headache over what song to sing. i have 2 in mind, but i worry that they may be too big for me. i shall decline to reveal my song choices to anyone. if u wana know, u have to watch me at the finals! :P i originally wanted to sing "The best day" by Taylor Swift. so i sang it today in class and the trainer said it's soothing and nice and all, but it won't win compared to my other competitors. and i DO agree with her wholeheartedly. i'm just choosing a safe song. so i guess it's out of the running. the other people also said that it didn't bring out what i can really do with my voice. which i think it's crap by the way. sigh!! i know sis has heard this story a million times before. but if u think i'm acceptable now, i was even better last time. it just that a couple of years back i had this exceptionally bad sore throat, and from that day onwards my voice was never the same again. i know, it breaks my heart just thinking about it. :(

so as i said, i have 2 songs in mind, and one of them is what i really want to sing. but i have to work REALLY HARD at it, otherwise it would FUCKING SUCK. it really would. i now i have like, less than 3 weeks to make it perfect from the suck fest it is in right now. god damn it!!! apparently the solo vocalists who auditioned for this talentime were really quite good. but they only had 8 spots and i'm really flattered they chose me. i guess i was very close to being booted out. thus, i really wana do a good job!! and i must say that i have CRAZY STRONG competitors ok?? like, they're really siao good. there's this indonesian girl and she's singing some destiny child's song, u know the beyonce kind, and she does it damn well!! not perfect of cos, but good enough to win the competition. i'm usually very cynical about people who claim they can sing though they suck balls, but when i say this girl is good, she IS good. and the boys are not far behind either. argh!! pressure pressure!!! :(((

IF ANYONE HAS ANY SONG SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TELL ME!!! I'M REALLY CRACKING MY HEAD OVER THIS!!!! REALLY APPRECIATE IT GUYS! :D

2009-02-23T16:46:00.002+08:00

right. "Fuck" has never been one of my favourite words. when the drama used it as often as people misuse the word "like", i really was quite affected. but now, i must say that it is my favourite word.

so here goes my rant. FUCK SCHOOL TO HELL AND BEYOND MAN. i won't say "to hell and back" cos i really don't want it to come back to me. today was one of the more hellish days in school. i admit it's mostly the fault of my laziness and incompetence, but heck care. i'm just gona swear and let it all out.

lemme see. PE was probably the highlight of my day. and when I, the most anti-PE person in the world makes a statement like that, it's gona mean something k. we had this 90th anniversary run or something, and each class was supposed to run a total of 90 rounds. -_-''' damn shit ass lame right? i know. yea, so ideally, each class was supposed to sent 15 people to run so that it it adds up to 90 when each person runs 6 rounds, which is basically 2.4km run la. but then, some people claimed to be sick or just ponned PE, so i had to help run. and of course the obvious question is, DOES A PERSON MY SIZE LOOK LIKE I'M FIT TO RUN 2.4KM??!!!! NO. but i still did anyway. and the good news is that i think i finished under 17 mins. credit goes to jia for running with me and supporting me. :) ok, if you're some super fit tracker, u can just stop reading right here cos u won't be able to sympathise man. i know 17 mins is lousy, but considering my size and that i haven't run 2.4km since........last YEAR, applause for me yea? :D

then after that was bio tutorial. which is actually supposed to be a break but my teacher used it for bio lesson. and to make it BETTER, he started the class my reprimanding us for being sloppy and stuff. whoa lao. adults can really be such FUCKING ASSHOLES man. they don't get the fact that if they start a class by scolding, it really leaves the students with a twinge of irritation for the rest of the lesson. at least for me anyway. i tell you, all bio teachers have sticks up their asses. and to make it worse, it's BIG sticks up SMALL assholes. ahaahahaah!!!!!!!! whooooo i think i'm a genius for coming up with that! :P and then my teacher made me copy the answer scheme 3 times cos i forgot to hand in my work. yes yes, it's my fault. i'm not shirking off responsibility. i take my punishment like man. but still, FUCK MY BIO TEACHER MAN!!!! :D

right. so basically bio spoiled my mood for the rest of the day. argh! today's school was really an annoying piece of shit.

so after school, i braved the rain with jelly's half broken umbrella to pick up mum's surprise birthday cake. yes, it's her birthday today yingx. cos it was raining cats and dogs, and i didn't have an umbrella, so i borrowed jelly's which can't even open properly, and when the wind blew it was blown erm, inside out? like u normally see in movies. OH GOD HOW EMBARRASSING!!!! seesh. mum has no right to call me an unfilial daughter after this man.

2009-02-19T20:20:00.002+08:00

i basically cut and pasted this post from the email i sent yingx. and thanks everyone for their well wishes! namely yingx and naomi! :D and to my sis, THANKS.

I GOT INTO MY SCHOOL'S TALENTIME FINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so lou came to my house a few weeks ago, and i performed a song for her on the guitar cos she was really torn up about matters of heart. and she really liked it and said that i should take part in my sch's talentime or smth. but that time, they hadn't announced it yet. cos its a biannual thing apparently. so a few days later, they DID announce, and i didn't really pay much attention. until one night, i don't know why, i just decided to take louisa's advice and join. cos i wanted to do things that are spontaneous. so i thought, will the old pei hua join? no way. so fuck it. i'm joining. so i handed in my form, and yesterday were the auditions!! i was soooo damn nervous i tell u. i wanted to puke. just before i went into the fishtank to sing, one of the organisers was talking to me and telling me all the instructions blah blah. and i was just nodding like an idiot. i was too scared even to speak. and since it was held in the fishtank, means its open for all students to watch. they even put speakers outside so that even if people can't see you, they still can hear you. -_-''' and there was a sizable crowd. i was shaking so bad that i asked to use a mike stand, cos i know my hand would shake if i held the mike. oh. i sang "best in me" by Blue. :) one of yingxy's and my old songs. :) and i was scared that i would forget some lyrics so i wrote them on my hand. :P ahahaa!!! so when i started, the nervousness slowly melted away, and it was over so fast i don't actually rmb anything. hmm....weird.... so today i had an hour break between lessons and i was taking a nap cos i was seriously pooped. then i was awaken by elizabeth calling me, and she was like "Pei Hua, u made it to the talentime finals." and i was like huh?! and then i asked if my yang lu got in too cos i would hate to go alone. and she did so its good. :) so i went to see the board and i was shocked to see only 8 solo vocalists were chosen for the finals. me included. cos i thought there were quite a handfull. one girl whom i thought was quite ok didn't get in. -_-''' hmmm.....right...... so the finals are on march 14. the grand prize is $300, vouchers and a trophy. i must say that i'm up against stiff competition. i mean, they're not BAD singers.......we just have different styles. and its all up to who the judges like more i guess. sigh!

but honestly, from the bottom of my heart, i'm not that concerned about winning. i've just always wanted to join a singing competition and see how far i can go. winning is secondary. but today is really one of the best days of my life. :)

2009-02-17T20:30:00.002+08:00

i want to go for "Thunder from Down Under"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought it would be pretty cool to go with lou, considering shes turning 19 tmr. AND OMG THE GUYS ARE SO DAMN SMOKING HOT I CAN JUST SHOOT MYSELF AND DIE. i would like, sleep with then in a second. AHAHAAHAHAA!!!!!!! but seriously. they really are gorgeous specimens of the male species. men have Playboy, we have these guys. :) but i don't think my parents would let me go. :( dad is practically a monk, and mum wants me to stay home and study. gosh. male beauty needs to be appreciated man!!!

go check out www.thunderfromdownunder.com. i recommend u keep a box of tissues beside you to wipe up the drool - as i did. :P how can girls be lesbians after seeing these guys?? ITS. NOT. POSSIBLE. as for the gays....... someone take them to see Crazy Horse please. :)

tmr is talentime auditions!!!! fuck, i'm damn nervous. from the moment i handed in my form, my mind has been switching back and forth as to whether or not joining was a huge mistake. when it comes to singing, i'm a perfectionist. when i sing to myself, i'm already so judgemental. what about when i sing in front of others??!! oh noooo...... one wrong note and i'll just throw myself off the cliff or something. :(

i'm gona put the topless guys as my wallpaper. oh, if i had to stand trial for commiting one of the 7 sins, it's gona be LUST man!!! :P:P:P

2009-02-14T23:56:00.002+08:00

today was a very fun day. :)

in the morning i had to go to school for talentime training session. even though it was at 9.30am and i had to wake up at 8am, i didn't mind cos i had so much fun! we sang for these 3 trainers from this performing arts school, (even though it was really impromtu and my voice was shaking like siao) and they gave us comments and stuff. among all the contestants, only another boy and i are singing english songs. and thats bcos he's vietnamese. can't sing chinese. -_-''' bloody hell. the competition is saturated with CPs. but it's fine. i think i only have 2 or 3 people i can call as strong competitors. the rest just suck, or so from i heard.

then i had to rush home for lunch, and then rush back for our 2nd and final night of "Under Pressure"!!! if you saw my facebook status, then you would already know that it was one of the best decisions i've made in my life. :D if this experience has done anything, it has reinforced my decision to pursue theatre in the future in one way or another. it can be in uni, or after i graduate where i just do what i love for a while. on both nights, the audience was awesome. they were all so responsive, and their constant laughter showed how much they enjoyed it. i love the adrenaline rush through my veins, the way my heart beats fast for my first appearance, and how happy and content you feel after you bow during the credits. thats the best thing about theatre. you get instant gratification. for movies, you have to wait till the box office has tabulated all the stats.

right. so i'm exhausted. i'm gona bathe and plonk straight to bed. night peeps! :D

2009-02-11T23:02:00.001+08:00

i really like this email story my dad sent me. it's one of those spam chain mails, but this story is really sweet. :)

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.'

'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked.

'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.

'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill.

2009-02-05T10:25:00.003+08:00

so the website is real. and even then the folks won't hear me out. they just don't want me to go. period. they want me to be as ordinary as ordinary gets. go to uni, graduated, find a job (lawyer/doctor/accountant), get married, have kids, and basically live the life they are living now. but i don't want that. it is the epitome of boring. THEIR LIFE IS A RUT AND THEY DON'T KNOW IT. my dad's idea of a relaxing weekend is to wake up at like, 9am? then wash up and go out for lunch. then go for coffee. then movie. come home and nap. watch tv. dinner, then go to bed. he can do this WEEK AFTER WEEK for the rest of his life and he'll be the happiest man on earth.

mum's life revolve round her kids. not that it's a bad thing. she's the best mum on earth. but i don't want that. my children are going to be one part of my life, but NOT the centre of it. i live for ME.

Hollywood will have to wait for now. but i'll make it there by one way or another.

2009-02-01T21:16:00.003+08:00

Happy CNY everyone. I'm not late cos it's supposed to last 15 days or something right?

right. i've nothing left to say except, WHAT.THE. FUCK. i've just seen the new timetable for school, and i KNEW i couldn't trust those people to IMPROVE my timetable. in fact, they just made it WORSE. last year for jc1, my lessons ended super early, with exception for tuesday bcos of econs. my earliest was 12pm for crying out loud! and now??!! aren't jc2 supposed to end EARLIER so we have more time to study?? NO APPARENTLY NOT. now the earliest i end is freaking 2pm. seriously bloody hell man. oh, thursdays are the best. i have 5.5hours of lesson STRAIGHT. from 10am all the way to 3.30pm. erm, haven't those people heard of something call LUNCH and BRAINDEAD?!! nope. doesn't seem so. in fact, i think they are the ones who are braindead for giving us such a sucky timetable. i know it's inevitable that some days are long, but 5.5 hours man? thats not being very smart right? oh. and thanks for making PE first thing on monday morning. way to go guys.

i just emailed the guy who manages timetables to ask if he can shift things round a bit. i'm prepared for a "i'm sorry we can't. it's fixed. maybe you can talk to your tutors about giving u guys a little break." i'm almost certain it's gona be like that. and if so, FUCK THEM TO HELL MAN. how on earth they're gona be the school of the future when they can't even arrange timetables well is beyond me.

2009-01-18T18:49:00.003+08:00

2nd post. scroll down for the first.

i didn't think that any guy would draw my attention away from the gorgeous Rob Pattinson - until Michael Castro came along. omg i love him!!! in case u guys don't know, he's the younger brother of Jason Castro, one of the finalists of last year's american idol. so now, michael is trying out this year. sis showed me his audition, and it totally blew my mind! i was hyperventilating, and salivating, and just slumped to the floor. he's got this suave aura around him, not really like brad pitt in meet joe black, kinda like a rocker edge but not too hard rock. will, his pink hair is definately a debatable fashion statement, but he's cute!! he really is. i think he's like a million times better than his brother. not exactly the guy you'd want to bring home to meet your mother, but you know, girls flirt with the bad guys then go home and marry the good guys. haha! :P I KNOW THAT HE CAN FREAKING WIN THIS THING!! I CAN ALREADY SEE HIM AS ONE OF THE FINALISTS!!

2009-01-18T16:18:00.002+08:00

the first week of school just ended, and tmr the next one is starting. CNY is this coming weekend, so i guess it'll be a pretty short week cos friday is celebrations. i guess. shit, that means i still have my long day on thursday. damn it. and SAT on saturday. NOOOOO!!!! i really regret signing up for it man. haven't even started preparing. mum will MURDER me with a chopper when she finds out. LOL!!

it is impossible to drive to orchard road on weekends. IMPOSSIBLE. i think even buses and trains are packed to the max. the government is crazy insane if they still want to expand the population. NO SPACE ALREADY LAH!!! bcos everytime they come out the road gets cleared for them, that's why they don't know how crowded the place actually is. it took me 1 WHOLE HOUR just to drive from home to river valley. normally i take about 20-25 mins. the jams are madness.

so i heard from a very reliable source that Leah Clearwater is only going to appear in Eclipse. and that the new moon scriptwriter didn't write any lines for people to audition for Leah. so i guess Vanessa didn't really audition after all. or if she did, she wrote her own lines then. LOL. thank god for that.

met miao qun for lunch today. the meeting was short and sweet. you don't need a lot of time to catch up with a good friend. just quality. :)

i can't wait for CNY!! long holiday cos the school gives us wednesday off too! :) yay hc!! wow. never though i'd say that, but anyway. but after new year, the stress is officially ON!!! and on overdrive. not looking forward to that much. :(

2009-01-14T18:34:00.002+08:00

oh!! i finally have a little break after 3 crazy days. so school started on monday. i didn't mind it starting much. i wasn't like, "noooo!! school!!!!" and start kicking and crying. i was pretty neutral about it. and now after the first day, i feel like i've been back in school for months. after just 3 mere days!! and day after day, you hear the teachers tell you how important this year is blah blah. naggy, yes, but so true. i KNOW how fast 10 months can fly by. and before i know it, i'd have graduated. wow. it's the thing i'm looking most forward to, yet i think i've become so comfortable, i don't wana leave. kinda a bit like secondary school to jc, but i think i know better what to expect now. mr khairul also said, "in a few months you guys would be my ex-students." bleh. jc is too long, yet too short.

i've been sleeping past 1am these past few nights, all due to my wonderful ability to procrastinate. :P sunday night: rushing chem and gp homework. monday night: rushing bio homework. tuesday night: studying for bio test. finally comes a day i can sleep a little earlier. right. so i have econs homework but i don't think it would take all night. i went to yoga straight after school, and i was so sleepy i kept yawning in between stretches. and after we had finished, we're given this period to lie down and rest our body. when i finally jolted awake, i was the last one left in the room and the cleaners were coming in to change the yoga mats for the next session. LOL. i actually fell into a really, really deep sleep. all i can remember is me being paraniod that someone would steal my watch that i removed and put beside me, and my locker key. and after that? Nada. just a blank before my subconscious mind woke me.

sis told me, or rather, reminded me, since i knew this already, that vanessa hudgens auditioned for the part as Leah Clearwater. and for some reason, this bugged me the whole day! :( couldn't really concentrate cos the thought of her playing Leah made me sick. she's not worthy to play Leah. sure, she may look native american (or at least a tiny little bit), but please please please!! ANYONE but vanessa hudgens!!! the twilight saga is waaaayyyy too good for her! if she gets cast, i'll.......i'll......... fuck. i can't boycott the film cos i love the story too much, but she better not giggle. or i'll fly all the way to wherever she is and give her a tight slap. hmph! imagine that dainty, irritatingly giggly girl, who sings and dances, playing a werewolf who's supposed to be tough and a teeny bit bitchy. i think the most bitchy thing about her is her voice, which irritates the shit out of me. bah!

2009-01-09T23:43:00.002+08:00

first and foremost, A BIG HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO TAYLOR LAUTNER FOR BEING RECAST AS JACOB BLACK!!!!! he's really the best jacob there is. i can't think of anyone better. :)

right. so since that's off my chest i'm gona proceed with my day. :P

Today, mum, sis and I defined the term "all day shopping." we really shopped till my feet hurt. we left the house at about 2.30pm for lunch, and then mum drove to serangoon to buy a stove-like thing for CNY. it's gross i tell you. she bought it 2nd hand and it's blackened and disgusting all over. i have NO IDEA why she can't find something better.

yep. so after that, it was straight to paragon! i really envy mom sometimes cos she can spend as much as she wants on shoes and clothes. and though i do spend a sizable amount too, (in fact i think i spend more. cos i buy in small amounts more often. yikes! :S) i always feel guilty when i spend too much. cos when dad finds out he'll be exclaiming all over and give me the talk about how i shouldn't be spending so much money before i know how to earn it. -_-'''

i got my first ever MaxStudio dress today, cos they were giving a 15% off. ( i think i won't reveal the price here. :P) and i felt really bad and extravagant until mum went to top it by buying bedsheets worth $600+. *speechless* those bedsheets better be so comfortable that it can make simon cowell swoon. she even maxed out her Nets card spending limit for the day. LMAO!! :P

school is starting on monday. the school has posted our timetables already, and mine SUCKS. as usual. somehow hc can never give me good timetables. J2s are supposed to end EARLY right?? i think i ended earlier last year than i'm going to this year. whatsmore i have those lame 2.5hour breaks in bewteen. bloody waste of time. i'm gona pray that we have better timetables after the new juniors come in.

2009-01-08T17:56:00.003+08:00

my mum is the weirdest person in the world. right now, i have a few of the neighbour's kids playing in the garden with my dog. why? cos my MUM let them in. have i ever said i hate kids? i love babies and toddlers, but once they hit 4 years old i officially stop liking them. of course i'd like my own, and my sister's, and yingx's, and yangx's, but other than that, nope. don't expect to feel the love pal.

mum is also a sucker for lucky draws and free gifts. we were at marks and spencer today, and we bought over $800 worth of stuff. so you must imagine how much we bought right? so after the cashier keyed in everything and wrapped all the stuff up, mum suddenly asked her if she could split the stuff into 2 seperate receipts so that she could get 2 free gifts instead of 1. -_-''' oh my god the cashier had to unwrap and key in everything again, and we ended up being stuck there for at least half and hour more. and the free gift is just some stupid glass and angbao packets. DO WE ACTUALLY NEED THIS STUFF??!!! what the hell man. mum is every salegirl's worst nightmare.

the past few days, the newspapers have been going on and on about how good the show "The Little Nyonya" is. omg are these people fucking blind??!! they even said it's so popular "because there's something for everyone." sure. just after watching 5 minutes of that stupid show is enough to kill 10 braincells of mine. and they said what, they had record ratings and all that bullcrap for that finale. i didn't even KNOW when the finale was. not that i cared anyway. so you know what it means when it says record breaking viewership? it means that our HDB population has expanded. these kind of shows are made for heartland aunties. trust me. if i could UNsuscribe to channel 5 and channel 8, i WOULD.

2009-01-07T11:48:00.002+08:00

i had my first hot yoga session today. it's NOT EASY!! some poses i can't do yet. bleagh. i feel so stff and unflexible. but i aspire to become bendy and toned!! YES I CAN. the hot room can make u feel a bit lightheaded at times, but otherwise, you're sweating buckets. u can feel the sweat dripping of your skin. and it feels SO DAMN GOOD!!

i drove home in a daze cos i woke up early to go to class at 9am. and now i don't even know what i'm doing. im rambling......

2009-01-04T22:28:00.004+08:00

my memory is so bad i forgot that i blogged on new year's day.

right. so my photos turned out pretty darn good. even i'm pretty impressed. you really can tell the difference between professional photographers and amatuers like us. NO COMPETITION MAN! LOL!!

post-it pads are the best inventions of the 21st century. and they're my new best friends. this is just a mini example of what my cupboard door looks like:

there's like, 10 times more during the school term.

I HAVE FINALLY UPLOADED SOME PHOTOS FROM MY CHINA! so u can go to facebook and view them. :) i know it's almost 3 months ago, but better late than never yea? tagging is tiring! and i only have to tag one person: myself. still, i can't see how people bother to tag every single person in class photos etc. too much hassle.

2009-01-01T12:01:00.002+08:00

it is officially 2009 and i feel absolutely bizzare. i'm gona be 19 in 3 months time. oh my god. last year, or should i say, 2 years ago, i was very looking forward to 2008 cos you know, 18 is the legal age for alot of stuff except R21 movies, which is have no interest in anyway, and of cos you get to DRIVE. :D but now, i have nothing to look forward to being 19. just being a year OLDER. *shudders* i tell you, i do NOT know how to age gracefully. i think at the sight of the first wrinkle i get, i'll just kill myself. Oh my god i don't want to grow old!!! i don't care if i'm stuck forever at 18. even when all my love ones die, i'll just comfort myself by having wild, passionate sex with hot random strangers. EDWARD CULLEN BITE ME NOW!!!!!!!

2008-12-29T00:16:00.002+08:00

i just took an IQ test on facebook, and i got a score of 128. i think it should be pretty accurate cos they had time limits and all. apparently theres a harder one for a more accurate result. but i shan't take it now. my brain is too tired. i got 23/30 questions correct! amazing! i was laughing like a hyena. i always thought my IQ was so low i was retarded, cos i take a long time to learn things. but they said anything above 110 is above average. *roars with laughter* well done ph, well done. :P

sis is so obssessed with rob pattinson its scary. and this is my sister!! she's the tomboy!! going gaga over rob was supposed to be MY job!!! and im not even half as bothered as she is. i mean, sure i love him a lot, but she's like wayyy over the top. reading and watching his interviews, getting his autograph etc etc. im too lazy for all that. and to think that 3 years ago, she was SCOFFING at ME for fawning all over him as cedric diggory. seriously. she totally dismissed him man. and now, edward cullen/rob pattinson is God. *rolls eyes*

2008-12-26T11:32:00.002+08:00

happy boxing day.

yup. thats it. no upper case font, no color, no exclamation mark. just plain black and white with a fullstop. i used to think boxing day was a day for people to throw punches at each other. why else call it that eh? to collect all the boxes that came with your xmas presents? :S

seriously, my xmas holiday is no xmas AT ALL. no turkey, no pudding, no turkish delight. oh we have a log cake. but its tiny, and its free. cos the folks are VIP customers at GNC so they get a free mini log cake from breadtalk. -_-''' pathetic i know. i duno who's gona bother eating it. yesterday for lunch, you'd think we had something western, like fish and chips? steak? potatoes? NO. we had INDONESIAN FOOD. bah. thats as far from xmas as it possibly gets man. do they even celebrate xmas in indonesia??!! dinner was just a simple affair with salad and fried porridge. yes, you read it right. it's not a typo. fried PORRIDGE. apparently mum had lots of porridge left over. so instead of frying rice, umm..... it became fried porridge. and she complained that the more she fried it, the more mushy is became. okok, it wasnt that bad. still pretty edible. but no way is it gona qualify as a xmas dinner.

so we're meeting darren later for lunch. i really wish mum would tell me these things earlier. today was supposed to be our shopping trip!! i actually planned to leave the house by 10.30am to beat the lunch time crowd, but its not 11.39pm and we haven't left yet. i bet mum isn't even changed. sigh!

sis and i were watching this show on discovery home and living about this couple with 8 kids. and the kids are a pair of twins and 6 mulitples. i duno how to call 6 babies born at one time. quintuplets are 5, and thats the max i know. (did i spell it right? :S) omg they are sooooo cute!! its shows like this that really makes u wana have babies. adorable things. singapore should show more stuff like this. they want more babies yea? this should do the trick. oh but then again, no thanks. orchard road is already too crowded for my liking.

2008-12-24T22:04:00.003+08:00

im in the process of revamping my closet. and the theme is: girly. i know i may seem girly enough to yingxy, but ive been slacking off waaaayyy too much on dress sense recently. im literally reduced to tshirts and shorts/jeans. and i shake my head when i see people in town dressed do sub-standardly. im a hypocrite, i know. SO! im gona take advantage of the sales going on now. OH MY GOD THE SALES ARE SO GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA. bcos of the wonderful discounts, sis and i went a bit crazy at Fox and Ralph Lauren. mind you, we would never have been able to do this during normal times. so many good savings!!! so now until CNY im gona hunt for nice tops and dresses, and start dressing like a young lady would, instead of those HDB aunties. mum and dad would be so proud of me.

which brings me to another point to add. HELLO!!! SINGAPORE IS SUPPOSED TO BE IN RECESSION PEOPLE!! SHOULDN'T U GUYS BE STAYING AT HOME AND SAVING??!!!! GEEZ!!! orchard road has been sooooooo crowded these days, its crazy. it feels so uncomfortable to be jostling with the crowd. normally i wouldnt mind a bit of crowd, but this is too much.

and i will never understand why people like to take pictures with christmas trees. its freaking singapore for crying out loud. its so lame. ugh! like they've never seen anything better. -_-'''

2008-12-23T22:42:00.002+08:00

chasing your dreams is a very tiring thing to do. it is physically and emotionally draining. and not to mention shit scary too. cos the more unrealistic your dreams are, the more you want it, and the harder the fall if you don't suceed. but then again, i can't give up without a fight. i don't want to live my entire life wondering "what if........" then on the other side of the coin, you worry that chasing your dreams may be the worst possible option ever, cos in the process, you fuck yourself up even worse. i wish someone would give me a sign, or a miracle.

i'm exhausted. emotionally. i think ive had too much information in 1 day. i feel that there's so much building inside of me that wants to explode - and i can't talk to anyone about it. i feel like i can't breathe. ughh....

2008-12-21T11:29:00.002+08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY THE 21ST OF DECEMBER!!! school is starting soon!! argh fuck fuck fuck!!!! i don't want school! i don't want exams and tests!! i don't want homework!! i don't want Alevels!!!! arggghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *bangs head against wall*

i feel like im embarking on the most important journey of my life. cos this is the exam that makes or breaks me. it totally decides my future. oh god im so scared!! gota start studying liao. seesh i hate this feeling of dread and fear. why can't i move to the UK and do Alevels that are shit easy? its not fair that we have to study our asses of here. what will we even use next time man?! annoying shit.

so ive just had my 2nd sleepover in 4 days. i am officially sleep deprived. i had no sleepover the entire year and now i have 2 in less than a week. it's crazy. i need zzzzz time. badly.

xmas will be here in a few days. i miss how the whole family used to get together and receive presents. now it's just gona be like another holiday where we go out for lunch then watch a movie. what a merry merry christmas.

2008-12-16T17:56:00.002+08:00

im gona be hypocritical here, so please bear with me.

currently, the entire world is being engulfed in the Twilight fever. and now when i log on to MSN, all i can see is edward cullen's name. seriously. as much as i'm a culprit of exclaiming my love for -fill in the blank- to my sis or yingx, it always weirds me out when i see people do that on their msn nick. i can't describe it. just can't wrap my head around it.

sis is currently obsessed with classical music. she spends HOURS on the piano playing all these weird pieces, and songs coming out of her ipod is classical too. irritating me to death man.

miao qun is sleeping over tmr night! i can't wait! :D

2008-12-15T21:59:00.003+08:00

2nd post for the day. scroll down for the 1st one. and scroll down more for my twilight review if you haven't read it. :)

so i really need to stop using my bio homework as a coaster for my cups, and actually get my ass down to DOING IT!! okok, tmr i'll start. i swear.

i just finished reading "Midnight Sun", whatever steph meyer put up anyway. so the conclusion is that she'll NEVER publish it. i mean, she's already let out 264 pages of the book. no point releasing the book when everyone already knows half the story. oh, but of cos she can if she wants cos the fans will still lap it up and her bank account goes ka-ching again, but as an author, i don't think she thinks like that. she's already rich enough with all the hype and movies and sales blah blah......

so now we finally got a new director for "New Moon". let's hope he makes it better than twilight. JUST STICK TO THE BOOK MAN!!!! im really sad about the fate of "Midnight Sun". just fuck the god damn person who leaked it online to hell. really. i hope you errrr....... jump off a cliff or something. no that's too good a fate. wait till those crazy twilight fans get their hands on you. you'll get hung, drawn and quatered for sure. ggrrrrrr!!!! anyway, i really enjoyed her writing, and it's ABSOLUTELY BIZARRE reading twlight from edward's perspective. i would never have imagined it in a million years. steph meyer is a freaking GENIUS. someone give the woman a nobel prize.

OH OH OH!!!! theres this page on steph meyer's website where she shows the pictures of cars that she talks about in the book. i swear i nearly CRIED when i saw Edward's Ashton Martin. i want it so bad i want to rip my hair out. OMG THIS IS THE REASON I HAVE TO GET OUT OF SINGAPORE. you'll look like an idiot driving this around. the car is not fully appreciated when all the speed limits and speed cameras. i must find a place where they have MINIMUM speed limits. like Germany. yea, that'll be fun.

i must say that the twilight saga is very good at providing good vocabulary. i only started paying attention to the words steph uses at the last 2 or 3 chapters or so in "Midnight Sun", and now ive got 3 post-it notes full of new words. im going back to the beginning to hunt for more. it's a nice way of expanding my shamefully limited vocabulary. i have this strange fetish for bombastic words. they make me feel very sexy. ;P AHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAH!!!!!! XD who says only Edward Cullen is a good turn on? :)

2008-12-15T15:15:00.002+08:00

i just made an interesting observation today. you know if u keep spraying perfume at one place on ure body, eg. ure armpits, even after u bathe and stuff, the smell still kinda sticks to your skin. of cos u must have been spraying and using that perfume for a substantial period of time. maybe like a month? yea. so now my pits smell like my Dolce and Gabanna perfume, though i didn't apply any today. hardyharhar. :P

oh. BRITNEY'S BACK BITCH!!! haha....... i can't say i was ever a huge britney fan. though i have her 1st 3 Cds....... but im currently hooked on "Circus". can't say the same about "Womanizer", but i'm sure if i force myself to listen to it enough times, it'll grow on me. just like i did for miley cyrus' "7 things". i find it so amusing how much whatthebuck on youtube disses and makes fun of miley cyrus. it's absolutely hilarious. :P

so im reading "new moon" for the errr...... hundredth time i think? im definately a bigger twilight fan than harry potter. leah clearwater is fast becoming one of my favourite characters. it's weird cos she's only a calafare, and her part is kinda underwritten. don't blame steph meyer though. there's enough drama among bella, edward and jacob. but i feel it would be really interesting if we knew more about leah and sam and their past blah blah. maybe meyer can do another series. the twilight saga gives too much time to the cullens. maybe write another book series from the quileute's point of view. :D oh, of cos please finish "Midnight sun" first. but since it is being putoff indefinately......hmm.......

2008-12-13T19:52:00.003+08:00

today's topic:

haha.... cool eh. so since my sis has provided her views on the twilight movie, i feel that i should do the same! so.......let's go!

let's start from the beginning. so the movie starts with bella (kristin stewart) in a deserty-like place, which is supposedly Phoenix, Arizona and she's heading down to Forks, Washington to stay with Charlie, her dad. blah blah blah......fastforwarding to school, where bella is the new kid. this asian dude comes up to her and wants to put her on the front cover of the school newspaper, and he's supposedly Eric. was eric supposed to be asian????? *bewildered look* then we see bella playing volleyball, which purpose is to show how lousy she is in sports. i suppose the point comes across...... abit..... then we see mike newton. nice enough kid. then jessica. not a bad choice for jessica, but she's supposed to be pretty bitchy. not seen in the movie enough. following that, is the moment EVERYONE IS WAITING FOR: EDWARD CULLEN aka rob pattinson. i duno if people are excited to see the CHARACTER edward or rob. i think it's both. anyway, the cullen siblings come onscreen. and let's say cathering hardwicke knows how to build up the climax. rosalie and emmett enter the cafeteria first, then alice and jasper. then finally, *drumroll* EDWARD ENTERS!!! and the whole cinema gets a little excited. :P (this para is getting a little long......)

right. so on to biology class. bella enters the room, and edward literally wants to throw up. of cos we know he's not sick but just wants her blood so badly, but he looked sick. i thought he was supposed to grip the table and lean away from her, sit at the edge of his side of the table. i think rob overdid a bit on the whole feeling sick thing. bell rings, then he immediately rushes out of the room. check. bella enters the receptionist's office and sees edward trying desperately to change classes. check. moving on. the next few days edward is absent from school, and when he finally comes back he introduces himself, and then he and bella start identifying the process of mitosis. (Blah, i hate the topic of cell division) then comes the pivotal scene of edward saving bella from the car accident. super cool man omg. so bella gets taken to the hospital, and in breezes Carlisle Cullen. and the cinema goes a little wild too, his entrance as well accepted as edward's. but i must say he's pretty cool. very pale, very blond, very doctorish, but i won't say strikingly handsome as i wanted him to be. all the nurses are supposed to fall for him. but ahh....well....i can still live with his casting.

next. school trip, which isnt' in the book but is vital in the film, and it got steph meyer's approval, so what more can i say. bella questions edward on how he got to her so fast, and he says: "it's called adreneline rush. google it." OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE HE ACTUALLY SAID "GOOGLE IT." firstly cos it's not in the book, but it seemed pretty out of place. next scene is in the caf again, and bella says edward's moodswings is giving her whiplash. and that line is also not in the book FYI. she invites him to La Push beach, where she meets jacob again and she googles and reads stuff and finally it dawns on her that edward is a vampire. whoopdedoo. like what jacob said is not obvious enough.

scanning through........comes the part where she goes into the woods and he follows her and he admits being a vampire. goes into the sunlight and dazzles and all......blah blah.....meet the parents next. it was really quite funny, cos the cullens were cooking italian food for her. and emmett said it's italian for her cos her name is bella. LOL. we see that rosalie is hostile towards bella, check. alice and jasper come in. alice is sweet as usual, and jasper has like this constantly shocked look on his face. SUPER UBER ADORABLE. then comes the baseball scene, WHICH IS THE COOLEST AND MY FAVOURITE PART IN THE WHOLE MOVIE!!!! vampire baseball is the best. :) then james, victoria and laurent shows up and the rest of the show is basically, saving bella from james. then it ends with prom......which errrr....... bella went quite willingly to though she was supposed to kick up a huge fuss. and then the movie ends with victoria looking at edward and bella dancing, letting the audience know that the story has just barely started.

whew!!! this is one big spoiler man. of cos i left out some parts, but now comes the time to critique.

1. casting. a huge big thumbs up and 5 stars for rob pattinson being edward cullen. i swear he's born to play edward. i really really like the other cullen siblings too. contrary to what sis says, i think nikki reed is smokin' hot. she's perfect for rosalie. i really really love kellan lutz as emmett too. carlisle is pretty acceptable, charlie ok, billy ok, OMG I LOVE TAYLOR LAUTNER AS JACOB BLACK. Whoooooo!!!~~~~ now let me complain about esme and bella. i felt esme was waaaayyy too old, and she's nowhere pretty enough. maybe she should change her makeup or something. and kristen stewart. my my where do i start. as much as she is my favourite actress in the whole world, SHE IS NOT A GOOD CHOICE FOR BELLA SWAN. i know bella isn't supposed to be miss happy-always-smiling kinda girl, but she isn't ms grumpy either!!!! omg, i swear i can count with the fingers with one hand the number of times she smiles.

2. location and music. excellent work for the location and scenery. i suppose the olympic mountain range can always be counted on to be breathtaking. music was really good too. i have Paramore's 'Decode' perpetually on repeat, and i'm currently listening to the soundtrack now. it just finished spinning for the 1st time, and now it's on for the 2nd consecutive time. so yea, it's pretty awesome.

3. the script. OH. MY. GOD. storyline wise, i really hate to say this but it's a huge, huge letdown. i don't think it stuck to the book close enough!! all it provides is the looming feeling overhead that the stuff that happens is somewhat similar to the book. keyword is somewhat. i felt there were waaayyyyy too many redundant scenes!! and that wastes alot of screen time which could actually be used for parts that belong in the book. i hate that so many parts are edited or twisted around from what is supposed to happen. like when mike asked bella to the spring dance in the book. in the movie, he asked her to prom (they totally ignored the spring dance) and she turned him down saying that she's going to jacksonville. she's supposed to go to freaking Seattle!!!! ARGH!!!! and she supposed to run away from alice and jasper from the airport, not from a hotel. -_-''' yea. so here's 2 examples. shan't go on anymore or i'll have to rewrite the whole script myself.

overall, i have to say the movie is just a tad bit disappointing, and the thing that saves it is the eye-candy cast and the anticipation for the film and my love for the book. i know a film is always hard to make, and that you can't squeeze EVERYTHING in, but they could have done loads better. seesh. i should just give up dentistry and do scriptwriting and directing. i'll direct "Breaking Dawn"!!!! :P haha...... so i'll give them 3.5 stars. nonetheless, i must encourage EVERYONE to go see the movie, read the book, blah blah..... anything that would make u a twilight fan. :) i'll definately buy the DVD, 2 disc special edition no less, so for those times i feel sad and down i'll just look at rob's lovely face and i'll feel all better. :P

i read the new paper today, and they said the rob is the current "It" boy at the moment. yes yes, no contest there. but i can't WAIT for "New Moon" to come out, where edward is absent for like 3/4 of the book. and it's JACOB BLACK ALL THE WAAAYYYY!!!~~~~~~ yea i love taylor lautner. :D:D:D i bet when "new moon" comes out, taylor will be the NEW "It" boy. i KNOW it. REMEMBER YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!! XDXDXD

2008-12-05T12:08:00.003+08:00

i have decided that i won't attend prom. i see loads of prom photos online, and im disgusted. why? cos everyone looks the same. of cos not literally, but there's no oomph factor. everyone just goes shopping, dresses up to the nines (or attempts to anyway), camwhore, eat, and then sleepover in the hotel or something. ugh. bo-ring. what happened to all the wild parties and crazy stuff that's supposed to happen? aren't you supposed to do something big and really memorable so that u'll remember this night for the rest of your life? apparently not. the moment A levels are over, give or take a week or 2, im gona fly off and join yingxy in canada. sounds like a whole better use of my time.

2008-12-03T22:19:00.002+08:00

second post. scroll down for the 1st one.

so i disappear for like, 2 weeks, and today im blogging 2 posts in a day. wow. im fantastic.

i just finished watching "In the land of women", a very artsy film which i think u have to be a lit person to actually enjoy and understand it thoroughly, but what i can say is that it has officially sealed Kristen Stewart as my favourite actress of all time. superficial stuff aside, i duno what about the film, perhaps its very erm.......moody mood...... but i think i may be having a mid-life crisis. odd. cos it's pretty weird to be having one at 18. so im gona die at 36?? lol

im scared. and im tired. im tired of being, or trying to be, or become, something that i don't really wanna do. do i really want to take dentistry and stare into people's mouths for the rest of my life? or do i just follow my heart and shatter my parents' hopes and dreams for me? i don't know. but i do know this.

I WANT TO FUCKING LIVE, GOD DAMN IT.

Live. as in not just breathe to fill my lungs so i don't get brain damage, but i want to be ME. which is pretty crazy cos who else can you be right? but it turns out that finding yourself is much harder than it seems. im sick of living in a rut. im sick of having to conform to society that i must get good results or im a loser. im sick of the way i have been wearing my hair for so long, my line parting is dead. it doesn't even change when i bathe and blow my hair. it just freaking falls back into place like a routine. im sick of being lost, cos i can't find the real me. and thats bad cos when uni applications start, especially for the US unis, they are gona ask u to write an essay about yourself. which is fantastic, bcos NEWSFLASH, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM!!!!

and the worst part is?? is that im too fucking scared to change. and i FUCKING HATE THAT. I hate that i have no courage to LIVE, even though it's what i want the most. HOW do u live anyway? screw it even i don't know the answer. damn it i have feeling ive just come full circle.

i should be an actress. those theatre-types tend to let their emotions run pretty wild.

2008-12-03T10:25:00.004+08:00

nowadays when i go to facebook, people i know are always being tagged in prom photos. which gives me a pretty good reality check that my friends have all moved on without me. sure, i say that im a 'special' case cos i have 2 classes instead of one, twice as many friends blah blah...... even though i really wish that i could just turn back the clock so badly and redo all my mistakes. im not saying my new class is bad. they're not. and there are some really decent people there. im just missing the way things could have been, which is kinda crazy cos u can't miss things u don't know right? wrong. cos sometimes u just do.

right. so this is supposed to be yesterday's post, but obviously i was too lazy to type this 24 hours ago. mum went for her haircut and insisted i go along, though i have absolutely nothing to do while bits of keratin on her head gets snipped off. so i decided to go for a movie at 12pm. mum's appointment was at 12pm too. so just nice. i'll drop her off at holland v then drive to great world city. turns out, mum being mum, she dragged her time so we ended up leaving the house late. so i literally had to drive like a crazy woman from Holland v to GWC, considering i wasn't exactly sure of the route, in 10 mins. luckily i did remember the route, but by the time i parked and everything: 12.03pm. raced from the carpark to the cinema, only to find that there was only 1 freaking counter open. -_-''' nvm. not the worst part yet. there was this grandma at the counter when i arrived, and she was there for like, 5 whole minutes or more???!!!! i was like, DUDE!!! DO U MIND??!!!! my show is at 12pm, it's already pass 12, and i don't have my ticket yet. what the hell is wrong with u?? choose a godamn movie, pick seats, pay, and GO!!!! i swear i nearly got a heartattack. you know, it's not that im mean and cannot stand old people, but the way they move and work sometimes, DRIVES. ME. INSANE. i tell u, if old people ever took over mcdonald's, it'll be slow food, not fast food.

finally when old grandma here moved her slow ass away, there were 2 more people ahead of me. thank god they didn't take as long. if not, someone's ass was gona get kicked real bad. when i got my ticket ( in less that 2 mins i must add) and ran to the theatre, OLD GRANDMA HAD JUST GOTTEN HER TICKET TORN AND WAS JUST WALKING UP THE STAIRS. seriously, i was shocked. it should be a crime for people who move so slow. ok, im NOT being mean. she wasn't like, u know, ancient. probably in her 60s? she wasn't like wrinkly and totally cannot see, hobbling all the way kind of all. i bet she's capable of walking at a humane speed. but nooooo. whoa lao i nearly burst a vein.

i finally got to the theatre, thinking i must have missed the first 10 minutes of the show already, but it hadn't even started yet!!! i wanted to whooop with joy!! so my main purpose of this post is: THANK GOD FOR COMMERCIALS!!!! :D:D:D i also managed to catch the twilight trailer, which i have seen a million times and practically memorised it. so all was good. if i missed my show, grandma is gona be real sorry.

i'm gona start homework today. and even the thought of it is excruciating. i know that next year is the make it or break it year, and i'm sure everyone in sch has started cos they're all freaks when it comes to academics. so must really pull up my socks and..... start....... :(

2008-11-20T13:23:00.001+08:00

i really can't stand my mum's absentmindedness at times. really can't. she took both car keys with her, and now i can't drive to school. I AM SO FUCKING PISSED I CAN SPIT. UGH.

2008-11-20T13:03:00.002+08:00

YINGXY. IF U DON'T REPLY MY EMAIL SOON I'M GONA FREAK OUT AND THINK YOU'RE REALLY PISSED WITH ME. HELP ME OUT HERE WOMAN!!! GIVE ME A SIGN!!!!~~~~

ok so i have FINALLY finished Breaking Dawn. like i said, the reason i took so long is bcos it's very emotionally draining and i don't want it to end. but im starting to think that stephanie meyer isn't very good at writing fight scenes. like for Twilight, it practically just lasted one line. but of bcos the movie is gona be much longer than 5 mins. i think. so for this last book, it was kinda......erm....anti climax?? not that i wanted blood to be shed, but the story was just build up to the very pinnacle and then, before you know it, it's over. BLEH. so much for anticipated action.

well, the verdict is i absolutely LOVE the series, as much as i do Harry Potter. and thats saying alot cos HP is the only book i could never put down and read into the wee hours of the morning. and now the Twilight saga has joined its ranks. when i finished i felt this warm fuzzy feeling inside, and sadness too. bittersweet.

so its officially almost coming to the end of november, and i haven't done ANYTHING. AT ALL. i officially feel stupid. i gota pull myself out of this rut and actually start doing something!!! ughh i hate myself. :(

2008-11-17T23:54:00.002+08:00

ok. U GUYS HAVE HAVE HAVE TO WATCH THIS. i shan't ruin the surprise, but it TOTALLY FREAKED. ME. OUT. check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq_YMzx3M10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJZBviaMfE4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6olZPwc68xU

there in part 1, 2 and 3 respectively. gosh it's so gross im shaking.

2008-11-17T10:49:00.002+08:00

sis is coming back today! YAY!! :D

i finally finished keying in all my contacts into my phonebook. cos i changed phone you see. so i had to rekey everything. omg there was like at least 200+, i though i would never finish. in the end, it took me about 3 days.

talking about taking more time than usual, I'm not speeding through Breaking Dawn like i thought i would. i took a whole day off, and now alot of breaks, cos it really is very emotionally draining. i don't like jacob black anymore. what is he thinking??? imprinting Renesmee?????? UGHHH. ALL THE WAY EDWARD CULLEN!! omg i had another idea of who can also play jacob black. STEVEN STRAIT!!!!! AHHHH!!!! :P LOL. Nonetheless, i can't bear for the series to end. i know it's a happy ending and all, but it's also like another Harry Potter. what you've been clinging on for so long is finally....... *poof*.......gone. recently, i have had a craving to read the last Harry Potter book again. great. another distraction from finishing the book.

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE IS OUT IN NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!! in the west that is. i wonder why there's not much hype here? wait. it IS november. shit. don't tell me november 2009???!!!!! NOOOOOO..........

why is everything freaking ending??!! harry potter ends. twilight ends. my childhood ends. my future looks bleak and filled with uncertainty. :(

2008-11-16T15:29:00.002+08:00

i was youtubing alot today, and was browsing through some music videos by hayden, ashley, vanessa and hilary. and i think i finally understand what sis means by how songs and music these days are losing its touch compared to songs of the past. for example, ashley and hilary can't sing for nuts. and hilary is really gross now. shes trying to act all grown up to show that shes no longer lizzie mcguire. but her new video "reach out" or smth like that, it makes me feel like i'm watching lizzie mcguire porn. YUCK. ashley should just give up singing altogether cos she can't sing and her songs are crap. as for vanessa and hayden, they actually have decent voices. but what kind of quality songs are they singing???!!!! vanessa's song is called "Sneakernight". wth is she doing singing about FREAKING FOOTWEAR??!!!! for hayden, "wake up call" is not gona cut it. she only has one look in her video. she trying to look flirty but im not feeling it man. maybe it's enough for the guys....but not for me. ugh.....

i think hollywood records is just banking on quantity of how many young stars they manage to sign. they don't expect the albums to go multi-platinum, but somehow they do cos of high school musical crazed fans, but once the novelty wears thin, bye bye to their singing careers man. that's why we should support artistes like Taylor Swift!!! someone who actually has talent and substance. GO TAYLOR!! :D

i'll miss the hollywood of today when these young stars take over. no more brad pitt, tom cruise, nicole kidman blah blah...... the best looking guy we'll have is zac efron?? NOOOOOOO.........!!!!!!!!

2008-11-13T17:06:00.002+08:00

i have 360 posts to date. wow. no idea i had that many......

so i just finished reading Eclipse, and now i'm on to Breaking Dawn. went to pick it up from jac and then gave her, shiyun, jiefu and qiaohan a lift to bukit timah market. jac was going on and on about how she can't believe she's in her classmate's car. LOL. okok, my focus was actually the books. i swear by the time i reached the end, i was crying my heart out. LITERALLY. i had my box of tissues beside me and i was wiping away tears and blowing my nose. omg it's sooooo sad, and i feel so bad for jacob black!!! surprisingly, i wish bella had gona with jacob......but yea that's not gona happen. my sis once said that she didn't want me to read the books cos i'll keep gushing "I love Edward Cullen!" but it seems like i'm a Jacob Black fan now. :P luckily neither my maid nor my mum came into my room. it'll be so embarrassing. my mom would probably start fussing and all.....ughhh.......

the twilight movie better be good. or rather, ALL the movies better be good. the books are so awesome, the movie better do it some justice. i've been thinking, and i think Jared Padelecki would be a good jacob. i think when i grow up i should be a casting director. :P

so as usual, yingxy is ignoring my emails in favor of her mum, bro and bf. and of course i'm pissed. :( yingxy is preoccupied, my friends are having A Levels, sis is away in Japan......hmph! i feel so neglected. :(

2008-11-12T18:33:00.002+08:00

ok. so nothing much happened today cos it's been pretty rainy. besides from reading yingxy's erm.....very couragous escapade, nothing else was very eventful. i just went to school in the morning for malay lessons, and the teacher told us that we may have to cancil our batam trip if the situation gets too risky with all the current unrest and all. i wouldn't complain much i guess. it'll be a nice chance for us to arrange another holiday. with sis this time. haha!

perhaps the next most exciting thing was that I FINALLY FOUND ECLIPSE!!! finally the supplier managed to bring it in eh?? i saw it in popular and i was like "omg yessss!!!~~~~"

that para is totally random and when i read it, it sounds stupid. but i won't delete it. WE SHOULD NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST SENTENCES THAT SOUND STUPID. they deserve to be posted and be seen on the net like other sentences!!!!

lph, wtf are u talking about.........

i swear the idle life right now is screwing up my mind.

2008-11-12T00:17:00.002+08:00

so i drove on the highway for the first time today. mum wanted to try a new italian place. i duno why my parents love taking highways. to me, there is a straightforward way to bukit timah road which doesn't involve the highway. but they insist that it's shorter. dude, a highway is shorter?? gota be joking.....

so we went to that italian place for lunch, and then mum practically forced me to go watch this korean movie "the good, the bad and the weird." even the name sounds stupid. so i drove all the way down to lido, only to find that the movie only comes out on thurday. whew! i guess i was left off the hook today, but she'll start pestering me again soon. i hope she forgets. :P so right now lido has displayed big promo posters of twilight. i swear, i almost have an orgasm just by looking at them. i can feel my heart beating faster and all. OMG I CAN'T WAIT! :D :D :D

so i'll be driving to school tmr and then mum will take the car home. i don't know why my parents are so paranoid about me driving alone. i mean, hello. the reason the tester passed me and gave me my licence, IS BCOS I'M GOOD ENOUGH TO DRIVE ALONE!!!! but noooooo!!! they refuse to let me drive unaccompanied. my dad says i gota be under supervision for like, a year. A WHOLE FREAKING YEAR!! you've got to be kidding me...... -_-'''

so my latest tv indulgence is 90210. it was a really big thing in the past and now they've "revamped" it with erm.....teenagers of today?????? haha...... basically it's a show with not much brain involved, just a nice source of oggling at big houses, nice cars, pretty clothes and beautiful people. there's one guy who's really quite hot...... and the guy playing Emmett appears in some episodes..... but u know, this kind of shows always try to have sophisticated storylines, but it doesn't quite cut it cos it's so cliched. seemingly rich and perfect bitch having a broken home, parent troubles.....the typical really. we all know that the furthest these shows go is the teen choice awards. but ahh..... it's nice to have a show which doesn't require thinking.

my sis is the ultimate blog-ignorer. i don't know why she bothers to keep not 1, but 2 blogs!! her last post was on 3 october man! even i'm not that bad. and she has a post exclaiming how hot tay ping hui is. i nearly DIED when i saw it. it makes me wana barf up my potato chips. ugghhh.......*shudders*

YINGX. I'VE WAITED 3 DAYS FOR YOUR REPLY BUT I HAVEN'T GOT IT. WHAT IS THIS MAN!! JUST BCOS URE MUM AND BRO ARE THERE, DOESN'T MEAN U CAN'T EVEN SPARE ME 10 MINS!! REPENT!!!!!!!!!!
i still love u baby. :)

2008-11-10T17:16:00.002+08:00

I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE MY DRIVER'S LICENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES OMG IM SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT SOMBODY PINCH ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D I'VE WAITED FOR THIS DAY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME!!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!! XDXDXD

i only got 4 demerit points. :) whoooooo~~~~~!!!!!! yea i rock man! :D

2008-11-08T14:26:00.002+08:00

i must make an effort to blog more often. now that it's holiday i must blog everyday. hey. if obama can become president, i can blog everyday right? YES I CAN. :D

i have to conclude that my sis is a cruel, cruel person. first, she KNOWS TOO WELL how much i love the twilight series, and how im just dying to keep on reading. so i just finished book 2, New Moon, and she has to take BOTH book 3 and 4 with her!! and all the way to the land of the rising sun no less. she's heartless and ruthless. my insides are burning from withdrawal symptoms. i feel like i'm turning into a vampire myself. and surprisingly, i think i even may prefer jacob black to edward cullen. LOL. yingxy, u are hearby ordered by HRH Lim Pei Hua to read the twilight series this instant!!! i need u to be on the same page as me!!!!! (not literally of cos)

ok, see. it's not that i don't want to blog. but i have NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT. somehow toronto seems more exciting ehh??? grrr...... and the thought of starting on math hw gives me nausea. but i know, for my own good, that i must start soon. or next year i'm off to the University of Timbuktu.

pictures of china up as soon as i find the god damn camera cable. and if anyone has Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, PLEASE LEND IT TO ME!!!!

must change blog skin. theres something wrong with it. the pics are not appearing......hmph.....

2008-11-04T16:33:00.002+08:00

wow. due to my long absence and the ongoing alevels, i don't think anyone comes here to read anymore. haha...... so where do i start?

well, ok i just came back from china. touched down yesterday morning at about 7am, then immediately came home to bathe and sleep until 1pm before my driving lesson at 3.20pm. next test is next monday. if i don't pass this time im driving without a licence. WATCH ME.

so yea. china was fun. we went to the great wall and went to see the terracota warriors. which was a total dream come true i must say. since forever i've waited to see these 2 world wonders. dad too had wanted to see the great wall for a long long time. i think in my next post i'll put up pictures. :)

i'm just started on the Twilight series. and the only other time i was obsessed about a book the way i am with this one, is when i first started Harry Potter. i just kept reading and reading non stop for hours on end that i LITERALLY, no kidding, lose track of time. i feel i'm totally absorbed into the world of edward and bella. and i guess the reason i love the book so much (other than for rob pattinson) is that i can see that bella is me. if i ever had to compare myself to anyone in a book, it would be bella swan. cos no way do i have hermione's brains. in every scene and everything that bella goes through, i know that i would react the same way she would. the resemblence is uncanny. and being the hopeless romantic i am......sigh......it puts me even more into her shoes. but at the end of the day, it's all fiction. but whether i will be able to give up everything and become a vampire is something i really don't know if i can do. perhaps if i were a few years younger and more immature, i would say, "Yes! Make me a vampire! I just want to be with you!" but would i really want to have pale skin that is icy to the touch, not being able to sleep, not needing to breathe, feeding off the blood of humans and animals, living in the shadows, and lastly.......live forever? honestly, if i were to live forever, i would be bored to death! i mean, there's only so much we can do in the world. do i really want to be around here indefinately? to see my love ones die, when crude oil runs out or when the world implodes or something? but at the same time, can the power of love help pull me through, to go on as long as time continues? and how would i know my love would not waver, would be forever unchanging for as long as i live, which is a really, really long time?

so what to choose? to die emotionally, with only the hope of finding someone else, or to live as a vampire with the love of my life and suffer the curse of immortality? all i can say is thank god i don't have to make the decision.

next topic. the first is too depressing and i'll only go around in circles. i've been promoted, and next year is the year that i have to seriously start thinking about universities. i actually have to attend university fairs and all that stuff. which is rather exciting on one hand, but i'm so resistant to change on another. i don't wanna leave hc cos i've gotten so comfortable. at the same time, i wanna get on with life so badly. i've been thinking NUS, U of T cos yingxy is there, erm, King's College??? i duno. all i know it's just one hell of a damn confusing process. and mum is bugging me nonstop to get tution this holiday. sigh.....

right. so i know i owe yingxy an email reply. will get down to it asap girl!!! and why oh why must sis lend New Moon to her friend??? DOES SHE WANT TO KILL ME??????!!!!!!!!! I......*gasp*......neeeeedddddd.......*gasp*.........Edwwwwaaarddd.....*gasp*.........Cullen!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-09T09:51:00.003+08:00

so the BIG DAY is finally here!!!!!!!! my driving test is at 2.45pm and just thinking of the tester sitting next to me in the car is unnerving. errrrr........yea.....

i hope to death that i pass. oh yes. better go light jossticks.

check back after 4pm to see if i passed! :P

2008-10-05T21:03:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YINGXY!!!! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG u have absolutely NO IDEA how much trouble i went through to get my Taylor Swift CD. someone has GOT to give me the "Most determined and never-say-die fan" award. let me recount my journey.

so after asking 2 sembawang shops, at thomson plaza and plaza sing, they both were out of stock. so i went down to town again today and started at Borders. i was like, dude, Borders HAS to have it. it's a freaking American store. if they don't no one has it. so i asked and it was out of stock too. so they asked if i wanted to place a special order. it would take freaking 4-6 weeks to come AND i had to put down a $15 deposit. -_-''' forget it man. i'll come back only if i'm really desperate. so i left the building and took a bus down to HMV. and lo and behold, THEY HAD ONE LAST COPY LEFT!!!!!!! i swear when the guy pulled it out for me i wanted to whoop with happiness. so now it's sitting very nicely in my cd player. I'M HAPPY. :D if they didn't have it i would have trouped down to gramophone or something.........

i guess not many people here have heard of taylor swift, which is why they don't really carry her cd. i know it doesn't really seems like a very tough journey, but trust me, i braved the rain and the hot sun just to find that cd k. even now with the ipod being an integral part of our lives, i still prefer to stick to my ole cd player. it still has the best sound quality anyway. and nothing is more satisfying than picking out a cd and adding it to my collection. i have one slot left for one more cd before i finish 3 shelves. i think i should save it for taylor's new one. yay i love cds. :D

i went to video ezy on friday night and borrowed 5 movies. and i've finished them all!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! :P

driving test on thursday. eeeeekkk!!!~~~~

2008-10-01T10:03:00.002+08:00

i thought i hadn't been here for ages. turns out the last post was just sept 9. thats not very far back! time passes more slowly than i thought.

so now it's promo period. maths was totally fucked up. i hate it when i realise how to do a question after the whole exam is over. whats worse is that i solved it MYSELF. and looking at it again, it was the easiest damn question in the whole fucking paper. ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!

high blood pressure......

so this whole promo suck fest officially ends this friday. mr K says it's a managable paper, so i'm counting on his words. well, block test wasn't that bad........ i can't tell you how badly i want my freedom.

oh. and my folks are away for the weekend. 2 words: PAR & TY.

2008-09-09T22:31:00.002+08:00

oh the irony! i havent blogged for weeks on end and now i blog twice in a day. ladeedaa.......

i am pissed. when i visited youtube in school in the morning, i saw that the latest episode of gossip girl had been loaded! i was so happy and coudn't wait to go home and watch it. when i came home, clicked on the link, GOD DAMN IT THE PERSON'S ACCOUNT GOT SUSPENDED. well ok you're not supposed to upload episodes like that due to copyright so youtube froze that person's account. and thus all he videos too! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!! I WAS SO DAMN CLOSE! ARGHH!!! then i went on the net and found out that the dvd, the complete first season is out already. and guess what?? they don't ship to singapore. -_-'''

someone just shoot me alr. :(

2008-09-09T09:34:00.002+08:00

"Good morning uppereast siders! Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite."

it's 9.37am and my class mates are having bio spa. i was supposed to start revising half an hour ago. i gota warn you yingx, my posts won't be consistant, just when i find pockets of time here and there like this. with the exams looming, blogging isn't my priority now........ GOSSIP GIRL IS. AHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! ok, that's SO not true but it's seriously damn addictive. one of my fave shows of all time. :)

i half want and don't want the exams to come. and i actually am looking foward to j2. i had to take 2 long years to finally get there, (or technically i haven't reached there yet), but ah.... you get the picture. finally, i have reached the end of 12 (or in my case 13) years of basic education before you decide what you want to seriously do with your life. and i think it's exciting. and i know i'd probably regret it when all the tests and nagging befalls us next year, but right now it seems pretty fun. :) my friends would probably be scoffing at me if they see this. :P

i think it's interesting to see how my mindsets have changed over the years. and i suppose it comes down to 'never say never'. looking back, i used to have my own opinion on things, and i used to say that it would never change no matter what. yet, today, i find myself re-evaluating these opinions. and i reconstruct my virtues and moral values based on what i see, think and want. thus, i can clearly see the evolvement of ideas as i transition from a child to an adult. and i think one can only truly understand this phenomenon if and only if you have gone through it yourself.

ok. that para was random. just wanted to get it off my chest. ive never been great with words anyway. no wonder sis says my gp essays suck. :(

now it's off to graphing techniques. i didn't realise that i had forgotten so much stuff. :(

xoxo - you know you love me! :)

2008-08-26T18:03:00.002+08:00

great. now i got keep my blog as annoymous as possible, cos some teachers in school can be so nosy and find our blogs in cyberspace. not only do they do that, they'll hunt you down if they find you typing nasty stuff about them. but then it never occurs to them that if they want to save themselves such trouble, DON'T GO LOOKING FOR BLOGS IN THE FIRST PLACE! dumbasses man. but nvm nvm. this isn't the topic today.

so what DID happen today was i has SL meeting, and at the end of it one of my teachers in charge said my behavior and image i gave people was rude and hostile. well, maybe bcos i'm sarcastic, but dude, that isn't a crime. and of course i was pretty taken aback cos i know i'm not. and yes i know it matters more to what first impressions poeple get from you blah blah...... but it's irritating la. and the worst thing is, Mr K agreed with her. i mean, fine, she doesn't know me very well, but Mr K? dude, that hurts right to the gut man. looks like i can't trust some people after all. now i duno if i can even trust ms huo. she also said when i meet someone for the first time, it feels as though i'm pushing them away. thank god at least this thing will blow over by end of september. but now i'm gona push Mr K as far away from me as possible. think i'm being ruder or being more hostile now? fine. be that way. all i have to do is to be civil, get a decent testimonial, and i'm out of this shithole.

i wish mum and dad could have sent me away to canada with yingx after olevels. so perhaps i wouldn't have to study all this stressful shit, and study in an environment where students are like second class to teachers. i want a place where we're regarded as equals. screw all that asian values shit. i'll be a banana and proud of it.